Month: May 2020

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The Journey Journals Excerpt #4: Sorrow From Unjust Treatment – Part One

They say hurting people hurt people. I’ve seen this to be true in my own life. Maybe you have too. We have all experienced unjust treatment in some form or another. Sometimes we are the recipient of that dump truck of muck and sometimes we pile it on others.

Some of the behavior we experience at the hands of another is disarming, some is mildly hurtful, while other acts against us are profoundly difficult or damaging.

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Visit instagram @melaniestevensonauthor to hear me share how I am learning to overcome the pain of unjust treatment.

For the next three weeks, as I continue the Journal Journeys with excerpts from my prayer journals, I want to take a look at how we can heal from hurt inflicted by others.

There is a myriad of reasons why one may suffer mistreatment. People may hurt others in response to their own insecurities or feelings of worthlessness. Some belittle or humiliate others to feel better about themselves. Some may hurt others in a desire to be accepted by a group or to please a crowd.

Conversely, some are imbued with self-righteousness that feeds the lie that they are superior to everyone else and therefore fit to mete out judgment. Some may hurt others out of a fear losing their position of power or authority and may manipulate them due to their need to maintain control.

Some neglect or harm others due to deep-rooted bitterness and hatred that is rotting their capacity to love. Anger, often a fear response, can cause one to lash out with harsh words and harmful behavior.

Others suffer from entitlement, ignorance, or greed. Still, others struggle amid their own inner pain or mental health issues, or have themselves been mistreated and are repeating the cycle.

We can be hurt by assumptions that aren’t based on fact, or when others believe lies or judge us based on gossip or appearances. We ourselves may be harmed by being over-sensitive, assuming a victim mentality, or failing to set clear boundaries.

There is no shortage of ways we can experience hurt at the hands of another. Our natural response to mistreatment may be to recoil in pain or shut out others for fear of further hurt. We may experience feelings of shame, worthlessness, disillusionment, anger, loss, grief, or fear. We may hurt back or grow bitter, but Jesus says something astonishing which goes against our natural impulses…

He tells us to forgive.

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If anyone experienced unjust treatment it was Jesus. He understands mistreatment because he endured it in every form. Even as he hung on the cross he said of those who crucified him, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34)

Even though the degree to which we suffer mistreatment may vary from person to person, the way in which we overcome it does not. If we want freedom from the pain inflicted by another, we must forgive. The idea is simple, the act is difficult, but the result is profound.

Here are the incredulous words Jesus used to instruct us how to treat those who harm us:

“…Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,  bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” (Luke 6:27-28)

When I am mistreated by someone I try to remind myself that their behavior has more to say about their character than it does of mine. I also tell myself that the manner in which I respond to this treatment provides insight into my own character. Whether I stay in peace or are triggered can also act as a signal to let me know if there is work to be done.

It is natural to feel sorrow over unjust treatment and can be an indication that we are being sinned against. We may not forget the offense, but we are instructed to forgive. In fact, our freedom depends on it.Forgive and be free

Are you struggling to forgive someone? Next week, I’ll look at some steps we can take in the forgiveness process. How can we forgive? How can we know when we’ve completely forgiven someone? How can we be free of bitterness?

Until then, I’ll leave you with this entry from my prayer journal. This entry was written during a time when I was suffering mistreatment from a person who I was working with on a particular project. I’ll let you know the outcome of our relationship next week. Suffice to say there was work to be done and I struggled hard to forgive.

Click here to hear me read the excerpt from my prayer journal on this topic and share how I am learning to forgive.

Prayer Journal Excerpt #4: Sorrow From Unjust Treatment

November 7, 2016

Lord,

I need wisdom. Please help me in this situation. Please lead me as I feel like there is a struggle there and I ask you to provide insight. Please also help me to not worry about how I might be treated. Let me not get angry or bitter. Sorry that I already have. Please forgive and restore me.

Thank you for showing me that I have a pattern of taking offense. I know I can be sensitive, but I don’t want to be easily hurt or let myself feel slighted. Could you please work with me in this area so that I am stronger in my thought life when it comes to these things?

Amen.

 

 

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The Journal Journeys Excerpt #3 – Does Prayer Make a Difference?

Ever wondered if your prayers make a difference? Does it matter if you pray at all? Why does it seem that there are so many unanswered prayers? Is prayer even necessary?

Over the years, I have come to believe that all prayer is answered prayer.

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Often in prayer, we ask for a specific resolution to a problem, plead for a circumstance to alter or a person to change. We wish to be quickly rescued from discomfort, airlifted out of a trial, and have peace in our relationships.

But God is after the best. The trouble is that his idea of best doesn’t always match ours.

God is present in every situation we face. He says he never leaves us or forsakes us (Deut 31:6), and we can be sure he hears all our prayers. We may misinterpret answers when a situation fails to improve as rapidly as we’d like, appears to fail altogether, or we don’t see a specific answer to our supplication. At such times, I choose to believe that God loves us too much to give us all we pray for, exactly when we pray for it if he knows it isn’t his best or isn’t best for us.

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Over the past six weeks, I’ve been enjoying prayer walks in nature.

Perhaps other times God remains quiet, or delays answering, in order to produce something of great value within us—increased faith and trust, perseverance, repentance, deep inner healing, and a character that reflects his.

What if the no’s are really delayed yes’s for something far greater and more beautiful than we could have asked for or imagined? A more complete work? At times it appears God holds back and allows something to die so he can beautifully resurrect it (see John 11:1-44). Though we may regard this as silence or unanswered prayer, it is an incredibly loving act on God’s behalf that allows room for the miraculous and God to be glorified. Though he’d rather we trust him, God can handle our disappointment, disillusionment, frustration, and fear for his greater purposes.

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Our family in 2016, the year this week’s prayer journal entry was written.

Could the no’s also be God’s loving protection, keeping us safe from sure disaster? God knows the beginning from the end, knows every detail about us, our hearts, and the situation. He alone knows whether or not our desires will cause us to prosper, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I’m sure there are times he lovingly withholds what we think is good for our own good.

The no’s, or delayed answers, also give us the opportunity to align our will with his and gain a Godly perspective. They give us time to adjust our hearts to a posture of thankfulness.

There are also times when our troubles reflect our choices, and God allows the natural progression of cause and effect as a result of our sin. He also shows mercy and comes to our aid when we repent and pray. To hear the story of how God answered my prayers when I was in physical pain see Moving Mountains.

It’s easy to forget that prayer isn’t just asking things of God. In prayer, we seek God and acknowledge his presence like we would anyone we desire to spend time with. Since he is holy, we praise him and declare him worthy. We acknowledge our failings and ask for forgiveness. We trust him with our troubles knowing he is all-powerful and in control of all that appears chaotic. We hand over our fears and concerns to him for safekeeping.

When I first became a Christian, I learned a helpful acronym—ACTS: Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, and Supplication.  Though I don’t always follow this guide, it can be a useful tool to aid prayer.

Over the years, I added meditation, which for me is a time of quiet, a chance to rest with God and listen. Perhaps I should change the acronym to ACTS+M. This part of prayer allows silent space for God to awaken me to his spirit, whisper into my own spirit, refuel me with his joy, spark an idea, enliven or a verse, or alter my perspective or my heart.

All prayer is answered prayer. It may not arrive in the form we imagined, but it will be in the form God desires.

This week in the Journal Journeys, I read a few thoughts on prayer from my prayer journal. Click here for a video of this week’s excerpt. You can also read an abbreviated version below.

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Excerpt from my prayer journal from February 28, 2016

Feb 28, 2016

“At the beginning of your supplications the command went out, and I have come to tell you, for you are greatly beloved…” (Daniel 9:23)

“Then he said to me, ‘Do not fear Daniel, for from the first day that you set your heart to understand, and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard; and I have come because of your words.'” (Daniel 10:12)

Lord, 

This is such a beautiful segment of scripture, reminding us that God hears our prayers, and is working on our behalf. Our prayers—our words—are powerful. God hears them. 

Some may wonder, as I have at times, why pray? God will do what he wants anyway. But here (Daniel 9:20-23 & 10:12) we see illustrated that prayer makes a difference. Daniel is confessing his sin, has a repentant heart, and is asking God to forgive them. These kinds of prayers shift things. 

The angel was caused to fly swiftly and the command went out at the beginning of his supplications. And notice that the angel says, “I have come to tell you, for you are greatly loved.” It is a beautiful affirmation to know that we are loved, even though we grapple with sin. Our sin may distance us from God, but it does not change the truth that we are greatly loved by him.

Lord, thank you for showing me this. It is a poignant reminder that you hear my prayers. And though I may not ever see the spiritual forces acting behind the scenes, I can rest assured that you are working all things for good.

Thank you.

Amen

For more reading on prayer, see Un)Answered Prayers

 

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The Journal Journeys Excerpt #2: God Restores

This week, I’ve taken an excerpt from my prayer journal that refers to a lengthy trial in our lives where we were praying for God’s help and intervention. The prayer records my thankfulness to God.

Through this struggle and many others, God deepened my faith and trust in him. So often He has been my only hope. I have faced countless situations that rose before me like an impenetrable mountain, but God, my great navigator, forged a path and lead me as he has time and time again.

So often I marvel at the way he does this. In the thick of the trial, I cannot fathom the outcome. My emotions bully my outlook. My circumstances appear hopeless. I clutch at my fragile faith attempting to hang on to the truth. Doubts descend, yet God promises to be with me and never forsake me, so why do I fear? And why am I surprised when he works the miraculous?

When I jump for joy and praise God at his answered prayers, is he disappointed with my lack of faith or does he take pleasure in my wonder and thanksgiving? Whichever the case, his love is greater than my fears and faithlessness. His arms are always open. I have full assurance of his unfailing love no matter in which state I come to him.

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And so I keep showing up, keep writing and speaking prayers to the One who wraps me safely in his arms and makes all things not only possible but beautiful in their time. The same God can do likewise in your difficulties.

Bring your impossibilities to God. Release them to him, and watch what he will do.

“With God nothing is impossible.” (Luke 1:37)

Click here to hear me read excerpt #2 “God Restores”

January 31, 2016

Lord,

You are greatly to be praised. You have done marvelous, mighty works on our behalf, so surprized us—I am still trying to absorb how thoroughly you have restored things. Despite all the odds, you alone can be praised for this complete turn of events. It is a miracle—something only you could do.

Thank you for your gentle, lovingkindness, so sweet towards us. Despite my deep disappointment, you remain the same. You don’t change. Your love is not dependant on our behavior. You can handle us being disappointed or doubtful because you were up to something better and know I don’t fully understand your ways.

I’m sorry. Please forgive me for all of that. I thought I had faith, but I suppose it was on my terms, as in, as long as my prayers are answered and things go my way, I’m good. But again I see that you lead us to deeper faith. You ask us to trust you when we cannot see any way before us. Look how you provided so entirely and completely! At every turn, every bleak moment. You gave us all we needed.

“You have done great things; O God, who is like you?” Psalm 71:19

Thank you, Father, for all you have done, the many ways you have tenderly cared for and carried us. You are greatly to be praised! I love and trust you. Thy will be done.

Amen.

Listen to song: Yes I Will

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Our family together on Mother’s Day 2020

Click here to purchase my 31-day devotional Soul Focus

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Journal Journeys Excerpt #1 – Greatly Helped

Each of us is on a journey.

Most of the time we don’t know exactly where we’re headed and even if we do, we’re often unsure of how to get there. We often feel lost, lonely, and labeled. Discouraged, disqualified, and disappointed. Worried, weary, and winey. We suffer sadness, setbacks, and sabotage. 

Yet we keep going despite uncertainty. Falling forward. Learning and leaning in, hurting and healing. Holding steady through storms. Yanking back the clouds to eagerly absorb the sun-soaked, brilliant moments. 

Our lives, our journeys, are composed of both the breathtaking and the breaking.

Since becoming a Christ-follower at age 18, I have kept a prayer journal to scribe such travels. The pages have provided me with a secondary outlet to pour out prayers alongside my spoken utterances.

As the years have unfolded, the journal pages provide proof of God’s handiwork, documentation of God’s faithfulness in my life, and in the lives of others, and provide a tangible way to see the countless occasions God has answered prayers.

Even when circumstances seemed utterly hopeless, and when his seeming silence was bewildering, God was still there. Scanning the pages, I see that the no’s were merely delayed yes’s—a hold-out for his best when I would have happily settled for good. 

My current prayer journal

The written wrestlings within these pages—sometimes through tears, often amid doubts and questions as I struggled to know God and understand his ways—don’t declare me faithless or damaged. Rather, they offer assurance that I am a beloved child of God attempting to understand her Father’s ways, to grow closer to him, and to trust and love him more deeply. Thanksgiving prayers soak the pages too, recording the times I’ve been surprised and delighted with the extravagant love of God.

For the next few weeks, I’ve decided to share some entries from my prayer journal in hopes the sentiments may offer solidarity, reverberate inside your own heart, provide a way to express some of your own pleas and desires, and kindle hope. I’m calling this series, The Journal Journeys, and I hope you will enjoy traveling through the pages with me.

I’m certain that reading these prayers aloud will be a vulnerable, intimate, and emotional experience. But I’m hoping they will offer a measure of comfort and encouragement if you are grappling as hard as I am to lay hold of hope and process faith in your journey with God.

The first excerpt I have chosen refers to a season of struggle in our life but seems appropriate to begin with as it speaks to our current situation with COVID-19. You can watch the video or read the entry below. At the bottom of this page, I have included a song for you to meditate on. So looking forward to journeying with you!

Click here to watch The Journal Journal – Excerpt #1

January 5, 2016

Dear Lord,

We have been greatly helped by you. You have not forgotten us. You have made the impossible possible, and have brought us through the hardship of this very difficult time. 

We have not been privy to an explanation as to why. No understanding as to what to do next. No future knowledge except to live each day at a time, one foot in front of the other, moment by moment. 

“You have also given me the shield of your salvation; Your right hand has held me up, Your gentleness has made me great. You enlarged my path under me, so my feet did not slip.” Psalm 18:35-36

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My prayer journal – today’s excerpt

I like the verse above because not only have you saved me, but it shows your continued help in my life. Through great disappointment and disillusionment, your right hand has held me up. You dealt gently with me.

When the way was dangerous, like a precipitous path, you enlarged the path under me so my feet did not slip. You kept me safe. You didn’t whisk me off the path. No, I still had to pass through, but you made a way—you made it possible to pass through. 

And maybe we have passed through now. Maybe we are just coming out on the other side. I can’t pretend to have much of a clue what you are doing, but I feel as though a change may come. 

So now, because you tell us to ask (Matthew 7:7), I ask you to help us—as you have continued to do—to find our way. Help us to be wise, to know what to do, to make wise choices. 

Your will be done,

Amen.

Listen to song: Goodness of God

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