Melanie Stevenson

Missing the Miracle in Their Midst

Isn’t it tragic that when Jesus healed a man with a shriveled hand, the Pharisees failed to see the glory of God in their midst? So focused on their religious rule-keeping, they missed the miracle that Jesus performed before their eyes. They could have been astounded in awe, could have bowed down and worshipped him, but they not only missed the miracle, they missed the Messiah.


In case you need it, here’s a quick refresher of the story:

“On another Sabbath he went into the synagogue and was teaching, and a man was there whose right hand was shriveled.  The Pharisees and the teachers of the law were looking for a reason to accuse Jesus, so they watched him closely to see if he would heal on the Sabbath.  But Jesus knew what they were thinking and said to the man with the shriveled hand, “Get up and stand in front of everyone.” So he got up and stood there. Then Jesus said to them, “I ask you, which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to destroy it?” He looked around at them all, and then said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” He did so, and his hand was completely restored.  But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law were furious and began to discuss with one another what they might do to Jesus.” (Luke 6:6-10)


Jesus defies the religious rules to heal a man’s withered hand on a Sunday, his love superseding all man-made laws in favor of healing mankind. Imagine, right before their eyes a shriveled hand becomes whole. Instead of praising Jesus and worshipping in wonder the God who made them and remade this man, the Pharisees stood before the Maker of Heaven and Earth finding fault and seeking to accuse him.


So full to the brim on religion that they couldn’t see God in their midst. They missed the very thing that they were upholding, the very One who could have set them free, by being blinded and bound by rule-following. Tragically, their religion left no room for compassion or loving action and made no space for healing to wholeness, or even God himself.

They missed the miracle and the Messiah.


How many times do we miss the miracle in our midst, miss the very presence of Jesus because we are busy and burdened upholding religion instead of resting in the reality of relationship with Jesus? How often do we miss the miraculous, everyday gifts God lays at our feet, even his very presence, by our rigidity, stubbornness, or pride?


When we come to Jesus, or when he comes to us, it isn’t with a set of prescribed rules to follow, but with unconditional love and forgiveness and an invitation to a life of wholeness. It’s not a list of regimented behaviors to gain God’s favor or forgiveness. Far from religion, or a brand of rule-keeping redemption, it’s the free gift of a spacious life of freedom with God.


God’s love is not earned by keeping a set of rules, but by the simple act of confessing our sin and receiving his forgiveness through Jesus His Son, sent to save all humanity—not the select few perfect rule keepers (as if that were possible). This also is a miracle… something only God can do. We cannot save ourselves through habitual rule abiding or being a good person (also impossible), but merely by simple child-like faith.


Picture life with Jesus as a child being swung in the air by his father, heels kicking high into the sky. A father gently taking the wide-eyed child’s hand and patiently speaking to her, telling her things too wonderful to fathom. A father teaching his son side by side, moment by moment, showing him how to live. A father bending to look the child full in the face and saying, “I love you no matter what.” A child forgiven for their wrongs and rebellion over and over again. And a fearful or bewildered child held throughout life’s storms. A father who never abandons his kids.


I ask myself, how many times have I missed Jesus in my midst? Too rushed, too full of fret or regret, too caught up in how things should be to see the miracle before me—his presence with me. How many times have I failed to see the many ways he is miraculously working things for my good and his glory even when they appear hopeless? How many times have I wanted Jesus to follow my rules and do things on my prescribed timeline?

How often have I missed his still small voice that beckons me to enter his rest, to embrace his peace, to abide in his loving presence, and be comforted in his ever-open-to-receive-me arms of love? To join hands with the miracle-maker who shows me a spacious way aside from petty religious rules.


What would it look like for us to link arms with the One who can repair withered hands, hearts, and lives? The One who brings the dead back to full life? The One who died to give us life everlasting?


Jesus is not only within reach; he is within your very midst.

“Come to me , all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” ~Matthew 11:28

To ponder:

  1. In what ways am I choosing religion over Christ?
  2. Is there a withered part of my life that I can hold out to Christ for healing?
  3. Have I trusted Jesus for my salvation, or al I still trying to follow the rules?

My Novella, “Where My Heart Belongs” is a Selah finalist!

Click Here to find out more about “Where My Heart Belongs”

Choosing Stillness First

With its hopes and promises, the new year stretches out before us. This sparkling collection of a fresh 365 days offers us an acceptable and celebrated place for our ambition. A chance to fulfill all the misplaced and forgotten goals from last year. A veritable do-over.

And maybe that is precisely what we need. To crank up our gumption. To make new goals. To jump back on the wagon we fell off—a fresh start, as they say.

Or maybe not… yet.

Maybe, before we mobilize, we need the perfectly acceptable opposite. Stillness.


God instructs us to, “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10) I’m curious how often our burnout, misery, and feelings of inadequacy are a byproduct of crushing an agenda never intended for us. How many lost hours and resources do we sabotage to the god of misplaced glory running on an admiration treadmill? How often do we run the race but forget God sets the pace?

In seeking Jesus, we strive to follow his example. He modeled how we should live. So, while we’re formulating our resolutions or goals, looking to Jesus’ example is a reasonable place to start.

One of Jesus’ most remarkable attributes was his propensity to be still. He did so before embarking on his ministry and before willingly giving his life for humanity. Despite countless demands for his time, he lived an unrushed life. “He would withdraw to desolate places and pray” (Luke 5:16). He allowed interruptions.

Following Jesus’ example, it would appear that to do anything of difficulty or worth, we must first be still. This could look like setting aside some time to sit in stillness as 2025 comes into focus, determining to start each new day with a few quiet moments of reading and reflection, or ending them with prayer and thankfulness. Stillness goes against the current atmosphere of compiling our goals, planning our path, and executing. Stillness requires, well… stillness. Stillness is counterintuitive. It requires silencing the noise to listen.

James offers a posture we can assume. He says, “Get down on your knees before the Master; it’s the only way to get on your feet” (James 4:10 MSG). James saw the benefit of stillness as a precursor to mobility, as did David who said, “One thing I have desired of the Lord, that I will seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all of the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in his temple” (Psalm 27:4). We would do well to follow James and David’s example and dwell in God’s presence to behold the beauty of the Lord and experience his transformative power to change and lead our lives.

Like Jesus, James, and David, we understand the need to set aside our time, agenda, preferences, and even our precious New Year’s goals to dwell. To be still, listen, and be remade in God’s presence. More clarity and meaning would arise from the discipline of stillness: more purpose and even productivity. In fact, by starting with stillness, we can ensure that our goals are more closely aligned with God’s will, and that we have the strength and wisdom to pursue them.

What if the only goal we make this year is to still ourselves in God’s presence and let the rest follow?

Blessings to you and your family for a 2025 filled with hope, peace, and love.

Looking for a devotional to start off 2025 strong? Soul Focus is a collection of 31 daily readings to focus our mind and spirit on God.

Celebrate the Season: I’ll Be Home Christmas Anthology is Here!

This week, something rather special occurred—the release of the Fab Four Christmas anthology, I’ll Be Home, a compilation of four novellas of faith, hope, love… and trains.

This collection is the birth of an idea, tossed out last spring during one of our road trips, now released into the world. It is a combined work of creativity, comradery, and companionship, and a physical reminder that we don’t do life alone, that we are better together, both with other creatives and with our Creator.

I’ll Be Home

Four Contemporary Christmas Novellas of Faith, Hope, Love (and Trains).

Who are the Fab Four? We are four authors who were thrown together by what some may call “chance” but who we call God. As the description appears at the front of our anthology, “We jokingly refer to ourselves as the Fab Four, a group of authors God has beautifully knit together. We have become so much more than writers; we’ve become dear friends.”

Prior to this group of ladies, writing had been a rather solitary venture for me. I had attended a few Write Canada conferences, but, for many years, had been plodding, or “plotting” away on my own. It wasn’t until three other writers (three of the Fab Four—thus why I’ve labeled myself the “four” in our group) invited me to a writer’s retreat in Niagara that things came together. These ladies encouraged me to come with them to a couple of writers’ conferences in the States (Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference and the American Christian Fiction Writers Conference in St. Louis), and the rest, as they say, is history.

Almost two years later, here we are launching, I’ll Be Home.

You never know what a singular choice to step out of your comfort zone might lead to. This was preempted by choosing “fearless” as my word of the year in 2019. After that, I kept going. Whenever I could, I pressed the override button on fear. Ever since, when an opportunity that scares me comes across my path, be it something as simple as complimenting a stranger, trying something new or outside my comfort zone, and, yes, going to a writer’s event, I embrace it. That shift has had a significant impact on my life and because of it, I’m telling you about a book collaboration with these excellent female writers and friends, that released this week.

Our writing reflects our unique differences. Helen wrote a historical, Sara a romance, Darlene a cozy mystery, and I wrote a rom-com. There’s something for everyone, and all are feel-good Christmas stories written to spread a little warmth, joy, and even a few smiles this Christmas.

Where My Heart Belongs

by Melanie Stevenson

“Where My Heart Belongs is a joyous, heart-stirring, mug-of-hot-chocolate-with-whipped-cream-and-marshmallows of a story, and a definite highlight of this wonderful Christmas collection. The fact that it’s set in Quebec is even more special, reviving fond memories for this Canada-loving author and reader. I loved it.”

– Carolyn Miller, award-winning author of the Original Six and Muskoka Romance Series


My novella is a fun rom com entitled, “Where My Heart Belongs”. Here is the back cover copy:

When dreams take a detour, love finds its way.
Having given up the better part of her twenties climbing the corporate ladder and crushing on her dashing boss, Porsha jumps on the opportunity to impress him by giving a keynote speech, even if it is in a language she hasn’t spoken since high school. One obstacle after another to getting a promotion (not to mention gaining her boss’s affection) stacks up, and her Christmas plans quickly unravel. When she bumps into a handsome, bell-ringing street Santa, not only her plans but her entire life just might change.

We’ve had some excellent reviews from readers and are so excited about this collection. We hope you will love the first book from the Fab Four!

Keep doing what scares you. You never know where it will lead!

To grab your copy of I’ll Be Home Click HERE https://www.amazon.com/Home-contemporary-Christmas-story-collection/dp/1069016209/ref=pd_ci_mcx_mh_mcx_views_1_image?pd_rd_w=Ya7Eg&content-id=amzn1.sym.bb21fc54-1dd8-448e-92bb-2ddce187f4ac%3Aamzn1.symc.40e6a10e-cbc4-4fa5-81e3-4435ff64d03b&pf_rd_p=bb21fc54-1dd8-448e-92bb-2ddce187f4ac&pf_rd_r=04M4GWPSX22DJH9R6K5W&pd_rd_wg=JlhsC&pd_rd_r=c6183993-3d67-4e1b-bb40-5d9a10f4b89f&pd_rd_i=1069016209

Embracing Life’s Seasons

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” ~ Eccleciates 3:1

Summer yawned into Fall this year, hesitant to depart and lazily lounging over the shortening sunshiney days. It warmly greeted me for coffee on the porch and lingered in the cricket-chorused evenings. Even now, as I peer out my window while writing this, I question its impending departure.

The seasons where I live in Ontario, Canada, are pronounced. I don’t mean we sound them out clearly, but they each have specific characteristics. Fall is a vibrant cacophony of color contrasted with blazing blue skies and crisp, fire-smoke-infused air. But this year, Summer has been reluctant to pass the baton to Fall.

Though on the cusp of Thanksgiving weekend in Canada, the leaves have been slow to change on our quaint street. A few early dissenters dust the sidewalk, but most appear full of chlorophyll and clinging to the branches. I imagine, in a couple more weeks, once the summer relents and the frost arrives, there will be a riot of color and the frenzy of falling leaves. Until then, I’ll take every opportunity to enjoy lunch outside with friends and collect a few bonus morning coffees on the porch, embracing every last sun-kissed day.

Not only do I prefer the warm, endless summer days, but I also prefer “summer-like” conditions in my life. Given the choice, I’d remain in the sunshine, wrapped in warmth and comfort. But those fair-weather conditions aren’t always conducive to resiliency and personal growth, are they? Sometimes, they render us complacent. Just as much as we need seasons of flourishing beauty, we also need letting-go seasons, biting-cold winters, and spring-like restarts.

Whether we like it or not, our lives are full of varying seasons. Even though we’re partial to some more than others, all must be traversed to encourage growth. The problem is, sometimes, we refuse to let go of a season. We, like this summer, overstay. We fail to see that we must move on to the next season with its distinct features. Instead, we cling to comfort and refuse to launch into the newness that awaits.

The reason, if we’re honest, is that we’re often fearful of change. We’re afraid of the unknown on the other side of this season. Sometimes, we worry that the current season will never depart or the next may be even worse. Other times, though the season changes, we’re stuck in the old one, pursuing what is perishing or wallowing in the dark chill of winter.

When I hang on to a season that has passed, it signals a lack of trust (aka. fear), thanklessness, willfulness, or bitterness. I may have failed to embrace the aspects the season was meant to offer; even more, I may have failed to embrace the One who offers His hand to traverse it.

What would it look like to embrace the season we find ourselves in and then release it when it has passed? How changed would we be if we stopped chasing after falling leaves, bemoaning what we lack, or complaining about where we find ourselves? How might we allow this present season to transform us? And what would it look like to bravely step into the next one?

As we approach Thanksgiving, can we find thankfulness for all life’s seasons? Not lagging behind, not rushing ahead, but in step with Jesus. Can we trust that God has a purpose and plan for every season and that our only aim is to remain with him throughout every one?

May God be all you need as you cling to Him during this season of your life.

Reflections:

  1. Make a list of things you can be thankful for during this season of your life.
  2. Make a list of the things you are having difficulty letting go of.
  3. Take some time to release what needs to be released, and thank God for all you have been given.

I Should Sit on Benches More Often

Have you noticed that often, the extraordinary is tucked between the ordinary and mundane? A bee pocketing pollen as it flits from flower to flower. A child’s laughter amid the strain of a long day of bewildered parenting. The sun that creates never-two-the-same sunsets. This phenomenon was punctuated a few weeks ago when I attended the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writer’s Conference in North Carolina. While there, something notable occurred—something holy injected into the commonplace.

I spotted a sun-soaked bench on my way to the auditorium for an evening session. I let my writer friends go ahead, favoring a moment in the late-day sun over a dark auditorium, and angled my body sideways on the bench toward the sun. Its warmth soaked my skin and soul. A segment of the six hundred writers attending the event filed past while I lingered in this sacred space.

I might have kept my eyes closed, my head tipped to the sun in silent retreat from the masses, but someone spoke to me in passing, commenting on what a lovely spot I’d found. Another similarly mentioned the sun’s beauty. I could hear the ache of longing in their voice and wouldn’t have been a bit surprised if they had chosen to join me.

I outran my introversion and decided to make eye contact with everyone who passed, intentionally greeting each one and embracing the fleeting exchanges between us. I felt like an unofficial welcoming committee of one. There were countless hellos and comments regarding my spot in the sun. Someone declared that I looked peaceful. A lady commented on how much she liked my shoes, another my outfit. The number of remarks was overwhelming and wonderful. All because I sat on the bench. All because I chose to see people and them me.

Then, a woman paused and placed her backpack at the end of the bench. We shared a hello and a few other words, and, in uncharacteristic boldness, I told her how adorable she was. She asked if she might join me for a moment, and I became the grateful recipient of disclosed deposits of heartache and beauty in a sacred exchange on a bench. I also made a new friend.

I was left marveling that one seemingly insignificant decision to linger could impress such an impact on me, both from the passing crowd and this individual. She and I saw each other throughout the coming days, and I said, “I should sit on benches more often,” in reference to having met her and discovering anew the marvelous way a simple hello, a word, or a smile has the capacity for mutual transformation. Holy exchanges, like mini miracles, deposited between the ordinary. Easy to miss if you’re too busy or not paying attention.

It occurs to me that Jesus was the bench-sitting type. How comforting that God-made-human would choose to tarry for others rather than rush to his next location. He paused to speak to the woman at the well, to call a sinner out of a tree and a bleeding woman out of the crowd. He paused to restore a blind man’s sight, sat for meals with sinners, and remained seated while a prostitute washed his feet with her tears. Others cried out to him, and he stopped to heal them. Thirty-four years ago, he did the same for me.

And so, in our ill-fitting garments of this weary world, may we be bench-sitters who allow room in our schedules to pause and sit a while. May we not let people pass by unseen but be those who slip off our sandals to make sacred space for the holy and miraculous in the midst of the ordinary.

May you be blessed to see miracles in the mundane.

Reflection:

  1. In what ways have you noticed holy in the mundane?
  2. What might happen if you became a bench-sitter and lingered with others a little longer?

Nurturing Growth & Beauty: Lessons from the Garden

This spring, my husband, daughter, and I, spent hours installing mulch in our garden beds. We worked in the blazing heat, my husband pushing wheelbarrow after wheelbarrow of mulch to various locations around our property while my daughter and I spread it over the dirt and around the plants.

To do this job properly, the garden beds must first be weeded otherwise you’re simply covering over the problem and those infuriating imposter plants will poke through the mulch. Even with prepped beds and mulch, the garden needs consistent care otherwise the pesky weeds will begin to take over.

In my garden, it’s not just the weeds. It’s my wisteria. For a period, I ignored it. It swallowed the back fence and devoured a post in the laneway. It even sent hungry shoots throughout my garden bed. As a result, I’m constantly having to cut it back to try to prevent it from completely taking over though it could be argued it already has! 

The same is true in our lives. It takes diligence to not let weeds take over the soil of our lives. We don’t cover over the weeds and pretend they’re not there—eventually they will poke out of the surface. If the unlovely or wild things don’t get dug up or pruned, they will eventually crowd out the lovely. 

Jesus says, “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit, he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.” (John 15:1-2)

As it is in my garden, this pruning seems to be a constant activity in my life. Weed-like things I would have ignored, covered over, or allowed to grow wild need to be removed. But God, the Master Gardener, partners with me walking through the garden and showing me what needs to go. Sometimes, he points out things that are overgrown and we work to remove them side by side. Other times he just goes ahead and yanks them out before they choke out the good.

Some of the things he pulls out or chops off don’t appear all that important. Surely there must be worse things needing attention. But in his wisdom, he knows which to tackle first. Like the wisteria that started as a small vine but now runs the risk of taking over, the same applies in my life.

During these times, I need to remember that God knows what needs to come out and when. He also knows what is to be nurtured to create beauty for things to flourish in my life, and I must trust the uprooting or painful, pruning process. But there’s something else.

Jesus says, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5)

We not only trust the process, but we also remain in him. When we abide, we bear spiritual fruit and such things such as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and self control spring up in the garden our of lives. Whatever is lovely will have room to properly take root and beauty will grow in our lives without being crowded out by the lesser things.

And as for the mulch, it’s like a blanket of God’s care placed over the top to help all the work that has been done to remain.

I bless you that you would remain in Christ and grow in beauty.

Reflection: Where do you see growth and beauty in your life?

5 Things to Let Go of This Year

If you’re like me, you’ve already made your goals and chosen your word of the year. But here’s a thought. What would happen if we let go of a few things and lightened our load instead of adding to our burden? I know it sounds counter-intuitive, and how could I bring up such a thing at a time like this when we are busy breaking down how we’ll execute our plans?

But what if our best-made plans, our detailed lists of things to accomplish, were simply a way of controlling a life that wasn’t ours to control? What if we hold on so tightly to our lives or others that we miss the fullness of the journey? What if we let go of a few things instead of adding them?

Pondering this, I came up with a few thoughts regarding some things we could stand to let go of this year. Who couldn’t use to feel a little lighter, especially after all those Christmas cookies? Don’t worry; this blog isn’t about physical weight loss but about losing the things that are weighing us down, some of which we don’t even give a second thought to.

  1. Let Go of Old Patterns of Thinking

So often, we hold on tight to habitual ways of thinking, well-worn paths our mind automatically treads. Then, there are ideas, limiting beliefs, and lies we cling to about ourselves or others that are untrue and fail to align with God’s truth. There may even be some protective walls we erected to keep us comfortable and safe, which may have been necessary in the past but are no longer helpful and are hindering our growth. Perhaps we continue using the hardened bricks of hatred and bitterness to form walls when letting go means forgiveness and our freedom. Or, we may even find some fearful thoughts that are paralyzing our courage. What patterns of thinking you would be better off letting go of this year?

2. Let Go of Old Behaviors

What about the old behaviors we have established, play-it-safe postures we have adopted, where we no longer try new things, stretch ourselves, or make an effort in some area of our lives? We forget how to play and how to approach life with curiosity and wonder and instead approach it with caution. We forget that small things make a big difference and that even one small step can make a difference or elicit change. These negative behaviors paralyze our purpose and limit forward momentum. But things shift when we let go of the need to control the outcome and simply try our best. We grow in bravery and let go of the idea of failure, embracing setbacks as challenges and learning while making space for childlike wonder.

3. Let Go of Clutter

Our lives can be cluttered with so much stuff. Sometimes, that looks like a home that could use some decluttering, but often, it’s an stuffed schedule. Have we said yes too often and are drowning in overcommitment? Are there activities we should let go of to make breathing space in our week? We need to ask ourselves why we are keeping such a ragged pace, be brutally honest about the answer, and make changes from there. It’s surprising how letting go of a hectic schedule and making space often makes us feel physically lighter and happier, even when we originally thought it impossible to do so.

4. Let Go of People

Sometimes, we try to control our environment or others in an attempt to make things as we wish them to be instead of letting go and allowing them to become all they were meant to. We hold on too tight to our spouse, children, friends, or family for fear of losing them or attempting to form them into something we wish them to be instead of allowing them space to grow. We may force our preferences, timing, expectations, or worldview on them instead of loving them where they are and allowing them to grow into who God created them to be. But releasing our white-knuckled grip and letting go of control often allows ourselves and others room to flourish. Not forcing the outcome of situations but letting them unfold in time often leads to things we couldn’t have thought to ask for or imagine.

5. Let Go of People Pleasing

We would do well to let go of the weight of what others think of us. Caring too much about how others view us leads to people-pleasing. When we place undo importance on having people like us, we tend to behave inauthentically, not remaining true to who we really are, shape-shifting, or being agreeable even when we hold a differing opinion. But allowing others to have that much sway over us is futile. The antidote for this is to simply love others as we love ourselves through the love of God. In doing so, we become free of others’ opinions of us, secure in who we are in Christ and his love for us. When we let go of people’s approval and praise, we find lightness and greater peace.

Psalm 139:14 reminds us that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made”, and we are loved by God. It is his desire that we are made whole in him. Since “His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.” (2 Peter 1:3), we are well equipped through Christ and can let go of the old in anticipation of the new.

This year, may we have the wisdom to know the things we need to release to make room for the things of true importance. May we find the courage to let go of old patterns of thinking, old behaviors, people, and people-pleasing, and live uncluttered, free of unnecessary things that weigh us down.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfected of faith.” ~Hebrews 12: 1-2

Things to Ponder:

  1. What habitual thinking or behaviors am I hanging onto that no longer serve me? What can I replace them with?
  2. What things in my schedule do I need to let go of? If you are overwhelmed, don’t believe the lie that you can’t let some things go. Once you say no, you’ll be surprised by the degree of joy a freed-up schedule affords.
  3. You may need to look at how you may have fallen into people-pleasing to let go of some commitments. A good starting place is to ask yourself whether you are doing something for the praise of others or because it brings you joy and lines up with your gifts. This will take some raw honesty with yourself. Even too much of a good thing is too much, so find a way to cut things out. For more on this, see my blog post “Let Your Yes Be Yes, and Your No Be No” (link below)
Let Your Yes be Yes, and Your No Be No

Looking for some encouragement in the new year? Check out my 31-day devotional journal, Soul Focus.

Becoming Brave

I thought bravery and fear were incompatible. Like oil and water, I thought you were either brave or fearful. But now I’m convinced it’s a combo pack with bravery coexisting with fear, maybe even handholding it.

It’s no small thing to be brave in the presence of fear.

Fear will try to talk you out of all sorts of opportunities to be brave. Learning to leave it behind is the space where dreams are composed.

Bravery means stepping forward while fear clutches your ankle and attempts to hold you in place. With every step, courage grows, and you gain confidence for the next brave thing. That can be anything from challenging yourself to try a new skill, moving to an unknown city, or—my personal favorite— mingling at a cocktail party full of strangers.

Those who look back on their lives with regret are often those who played it safe by standing still. They listened to the voice of fear, uttering things such as, “You’ll never make it,” “You’ll be rejected,” or “You’ll fail,” instead of overriding it with truths such as, “Every step forward draws me closer to the destination,” “Not everyone will like me, but I can still be a friendly person” or “Mistakes are learning opportunities.”

It’s easy to confuse fear and excitement. When we face fear, we can look closer and ask, “Am I afraid, or am I excited for something new?” It’s natural to feel a little off-kilter when trying something we’ve never done before or facing a new situation. At such times, we can reframe our thinking by embracing the unknown, moving forward with expectation and wonder, and releasing the need to control every detail. We can allow the anticipation to work its magic and help us be sharp for the situation. We can reframe our fear of failure as opportunities for growth.

For many years, I taught drama to youth and adults. Occasionally, a terrified actor would approach me before a performance and declare they couldn’t go on stage. I would help them reframe their fear by telling them that it was natural to feel nervous and that this good stress would quicken their mind. I would remind them that they were well-prepared. Each chose to step on stage even though fear attempted to hold them back.

Preparation is key, isn’t it? The more prepared we walk into a situation, the less fear we experience. Whether a play, an exam, a speaking engagement, leading a team or a meeting, or pitching a book (as I recently experienced), preparation is key to tamping out fear and garnering confidence.

If you’re struggling, give yourself a “brave” pep talk ahead of the event. Tell yourself specifically how you are going to show up. Things such as, “I will not shrink back, “I will take every opportunity to be brave,” “I won’t make excuses,” and “I will not talk myself out of doing the brave thing.” Visualize yourself confidently entering a room, introducing yourself to strangers, striking up conversations, and asking questions.

At times, we need to behave bravely before we feel brave. A fearless posture looks like walking tall with our head up, shoulders back, and arms uncrossed opening our hearts to the world and its possibilities. Make eye contact and smile. Move into the circle. Lean in at the table. Be friendly, and participate in the conversation. Actively listen instead of over-talking out of nervous excitement. Embrace the awkwardness of human interactions and be YOU in all your quirky glory!

Bravery is a sliding scale. In some circumstances, I’m brave with little fear; in others, I’m fearful with little bravery. What is easy for me might be terrifying for someone else, and vice versa. I may appear brave in some capacity to someone who, by contrast, seems unafraid to me in another. But universally, we grow braver every time we choose to be courageous in the moment. We gain more confidence when facing the next challenge.

“Leaving fear behind is the place where dreams are made.”

~ Melanie Stevenson

Tips for Becoming Brave

  1. Step forward despite the fear.
  2. Do the hard thing so the next hard thing is easier.
  3. Turn fear into opportunities to be brave.
  4. Ask yourself, is this fear or nervous excitement?
  5. Do the prep work in advance to fuel confidence.
  6. Visualize yourself being brave and adopt a fearless posture.
  7. Give yourself a pep talk ahead of the hard thing telling yourself the specific way you will show up brave.
  8. Embrace the awkward and uncomfortable.
  9. Be fearlessly YOU, quirks and all!

Verse: “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

May you walk forward bravely in God’s strength. 

The Messiness of Motherhood

Moms, you’re doing so much better than you think.

No one, except maybe you, expected you to be perfect.

The truth is, motherhood is messy. Very little of it is tidy. Not the birth, the innumerable diapers, or the soaked-through nursing pads. Not the scattered toys, countless crumbs, or the endless piles of laundry. Not the tears—oh the tears!—the meltdowns, or the sibling squabbles.

Nope, hardly perfect at all.

Of course, the illustrations on the baby cards alongside your anticipation may beguile you into believing that your rosy-cheeked infant will arrive a full-fledged angel. Or, like me, you prepped yourself by reading parenting material in advance, studying how to do this perfectly to ensure parenting success. But the moment those babies are born, you realize that all the books in the world could never fully prepare you for the lifelong journey of motherhood.

The awe you feel the moment your baby is tucked in your arms is immeasurable. Your heart soars with a love you never knew existed. You delight in every expression, melt with every sigh or coo, and applaud every milestone, until one day—so much sooner than you think—they are forging a life of their own. The truth is, the days until that day (some of which feel exhausting and long) take every ounce of our will to beat back selfishness and set aside our own desires. It takes self-control to exercise patience and gentleness. It takes superhuman strength to hold our emotions in check when we’re on the brink of losing our cool. It takes discernment to balance kindness and firmness in discipline, to be wise enough for each moment.

At times, especially when they are little, the days feel so long, but in reality, the years are incredibly short. Other times, discouragement, like thunder clouds, sets in and covers the light. We wonder if we have enough of whatever it takes for this mission. We bemoan all that we could have done better, and we wrestle with our doubts. When we grow weary and are about to give in to the berating voice that tells us we’re not capable enough, we discover GRACE.

Like a salve to a scraped knee, Grace permeates the not-good-enoughs, the messes, and the mistakes. Like a kiss to a child’s forehead, Grace soothes our aching hearts and weary spirits. It brushes away the clouds, and offers a lighted path, and strength to walk it. Grace tucks us in at the end of a draining day whispering to our spent souls, “Perfection is not required.”

And there’s LOVE. Like a warm hug to soothe and settle our souls, love saturates our spirit enough to pour out patience, kindness, and unselfishness. Love enables us to grow in humility. It looks for the good and builds our kids up. It slows down our impulse to grow angry and helps us be quick to forgive. It turns us away from darkness and helps us delight in the truth. It protects, trusts, never quits, and never loses hope. (see 1 Cor 13:4-7) Love is what every mother needs and what she freely gives.

And there’s JOY. It pins wings to our hearts and sets them alight in a breeze of laughter. It doesn’t clean up the messes but allows us to dance on tip-toe in between them. It splashes barefoot through the rain puddles alongside the child. It sings the song for the hundredth time as though the first, and plays on the floor until our jeans grow threadbare at the knees. Joy fills our hearts with wonder at the very sight of our child’s impish smile.

And there’s PEACE that flows through our being like gentle the ebb and flow of waves upon the shore. Soothing, constant, ever-present. We need only to dip in a toe and are touched. It’s there in the chubby-cheeked sleep of our infant, the squishy, squeezy hug from our toddler, and the bedtime books with our child nestled on our lap. It’s in the quiet nights when they didn’t wake up but we lay awake praising God that he entrusted us with their precious lives. It resides even in the chaos because the peace God gives isn’t dependent on circumstances.

There will be a multitude of messes throughout motherhood, but only one who is qualified to fully clean them up. Without God’s help, I might have squandered the treasure of motherhood by being too busy. As it was, I came perilously close and stuffed our schedules by saying yes too often and racing to all sorts of activities. I might have exchanged motherhood for the perpetually perfect house—ours was full of homeschool books, science projects, shoes, and toys! Worst of all, I may have tried to create perfect, cookie-cutter kids. All I needed to do was to rest in God’s grace, love, joy, and peace, available on a moment-by-moment basis. I needed to continue to trust the One who made our kids and gave them to us to raise. Who knew that all along it was that simple?

Once a mother, always a mother, they say. Even in the messes and mayhem, I wouldn’t have it any other way! As much as I wanted to be perfect, I reflect that despite my imperfections, and maybe even because of them, my kids are thoughtful and compassionate, beautifully unique and creative, and treat others with kindness and respect. But like me, and their upbringing, they aren’t perfect.

Our family with the grandbabies

By God’s grace and love, we raise our kids as well as we can, with the tools at our disposal. We raise them alongside the messes and the broken and bright bits. If I could change anything, I would have trusted God more and worried less. Two of our four children remain under our roof for now, and Ralph and I are grandparents (a much easier gig!), so it appears I still have some years to practice!

To you, sweet mom, also doing the best you can, I’m cheering you on while repeating the words I started with: you’re doing so much better than you think.

I leave this list to encourage you in your mothering journey:

  1. Receive God’s grace.
  2. Soak in his love.
  3. Experience his joy.
  4. Accept his peace.
  5. Pray continually.
  6. Listen to His words.
  7. Move by His strength.
  8. Live by faith, not by sight.
  9. Don’t lose hope.
  10. Trust him with the process.
  11. Invite him into the messes.
  12. Love fiercely.

I bless you in your journey through motherhood. May you find the strength you need for every moment through Christ.

Keep Creating. Don’t Stop Doing Your Brave Thing.

Writing can be a rather solitary occupation, and mostly, that has suited me quite well. Events like writer’s conferences, meetings, and retreats have been a stretch for me because they nudge me out of my introverted cave. Remarkably, four times in the past four months, I’ve gathered with Canadian authors at various writing retreats. It’s been a game-changer—inspiring, encouraging, and educational, not to mention a much-needed reminder that writers need each other.

Eden Mills Writer’s Retreat -Feb 25 & 26, 2023

Each of us requires our share of encouragement and healthy feedback, don’t we? To be cheered on, to be told our work has worth, and that what we do has the makings of beauty—the fingerprints of our creator himself—is what gives it meaning. In essence, we desire to know that we’re making a difference. And whether we use words, paint, numbers, tools, instruments, or equipment, we delight to know that the work of our hands is impacting this world for good.

This past December, I ran into a Music Professor I used to work alongside at our former church. He paused to speak to me before heading on stage to play a magnificent, hundred-year-old organ. We had no sooner begun chatting when he handed me an unsolicited compliment by saying, “You are the most creative person I know.” Though I am confident he is surrounded by extraordinary creatives at the college, and that his mind should have been preoccupied with the complex instrument he was about to play, his impeccably-timed encouragement breathed life into my spirit.

Brantford Writer’s Retreat – February 7, 2023

Much like the Professor’s compliment, these writing retreats have encouraged me and served as much-needed reminders to keep going. The life-giving words of other writers, offering direction and creative insight during our brainstorming sessions, have reignited my passion for writing and unearthed the motivation I needed to move forward after a sluggish year. It was more than I had expected when I took the chance and said yes to these invitations. And… I’ve said yes to three more including The Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writer’s Conference in North Carolina this spring.

Niagara Falls Writer’s Retreat – January 12-17, 2023

But isn’t it just like God to step in and offer practical help or reassurance? I’ve noticed God often uses others to accomplish his purposes—his people acting as an extension of his hands and feet on earth. God encourages us in other ways too. He teaches us, guides us, comforts us, and directs us through his word, Spirit, and even circumstances. He uses these varying methods to ensure we are not only held and directed but, in my case, don’t remain in a solitary writing cave!

I chose the word BRAVE as my 2023 word of the year. In 2020, I chose FEARLESS. Obviously, they are virtually the same—I like words so much I merely defaulted to a synonym—but I needed another crack at being fearless. Practice makes perfect… and all that. I also chose a couple of verses for the year for added inspiration. Feel free to borrow them if you like. I’ve left them at the end of this blog.

Refocus Writing Retreat – Guelph Bible Conference Centre – November 7-10, 2022

All this to say, my encouragement to you (and me) this year is to keep going! Your talents, skills, and creativity make a difference and bring beauty to this world, and, believe me, this world is aching for more beauty! And don’t be fooled into thinking that only the arts are creative. God made us in his image, and humans are innately creative. Mathematicians, scientists, architects, and business people (to mention only a few) creatively solve problems while creating newness and beauty all the time.

This year, join me in throwing off discouragement and disillusionment and bravely using what we have at our disposal to deposit beauty in this world.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9.

“May he grant you according to your heart’s desire and fulfill all your purpose.” Psalm 20:4

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Reflections:

  1. What are you putting off doing because of fear?
  2. What is one brave step you can take today?
  3. How can you create beauty in this world with your gifts and skills?

Check out the works of the Candian authors who attended these retreats:

  1. Sara Davison http://saradavison.org
  2. Helena Smrcek http://helenasmrcek.com
  3. Darlene Turner darlenelturner.com
  4. Sandra Orchard sandraorchard.com
  5. Stacy Weeks staceyweeks.com
  6. Tara Ross tarakross.com
  7. Olivia Zendo oliviazendo.com
  8. Sandy Ryerse sandyryerse.com
  9. Karen DeBlieck karendebliek.com