Melanie Stevenson

5 Things to Let Go of This Year

If you’re like me, you’ve already made your goals and chosen your word of the year. But here’s a thought. What would happen if we let go of a few things and lightened our load instead of adding to our burden? I know it sounds counter-intuitive, and how could I bring up such a thing at a time like this when we are busy breaking down how we’ll execute our plans?

But what if our best-made plans, our detailed lists of things to accomplish, were simply a way of controlling a life that wasn’t ours to control? What if we hold on so tightly to our lives or others that we miss the fullness of the journey? What if we let go of a few things instead of adding them?

Pondering this, I came up with a few thoughts regarding some things we could stand to let go of this year. Who couldn’t use to feel a little lighter, especially after all those Christmas cookies? Don’t worry; this blog isn’t about physical weight loss but about losing the things that are weighing us down, some of which we don’t even give a second thought to.

  1. Let Go of Old Patterns of Thinking

So often, we hold on tight to habitual ways of thinking, well-worn paths our mind automatically treads. Then, there are ideas, limiting beliefs, and lies we cling to about ourselves or others that are untrue and fail to align with God’s truth. There may even be some protective walls we erected to keep us comfortable and safe, which may have been necessary in the past but are no longer helpful and are hindering our growth. Perhaps we continue using the hardened bricks of hatred and bitterness to form walls when letting go means forgiveness and our freedom. Or, we may even find some fearful thoughts that are paralyzing our courage. What patterns of thinking you would be better off letting go of this year?

2. Let Go of Old Behaviors

What about the old behaviors we have established, play-it-safe postures we have adopted, where we no longer try new things, stretch ourselves, or make an effort in some area of our lives? We forget how to play and how to approach life with curiosity and wonder and instead approach it with caution. We forget that small things make a big difference and that even one small step can make a difference or elicit change. These negative behaviors paralyze our purpose and limit forward momentum. But things shift when we let go of the need to control the outcome and simply try our best. We grow in bravery and let go of the idea of failure, embracing setbacks as challenges and learning while making space for childlike wonder.

3. Let Go of Clutter

Our lives can be cluttered with so much stuff. Sometimes, that looks like a home that could use some decluttering, but often, it’s an stuffed schedule. Have we said yes too often and are drowning in overcommitment? Are there activities we should let go of to make breathing space in our week? We need to ask ourselves why we are keeping such a ragged pace, be brutally honest about the answer, and make changes from there. It’s surprising how letting go of a hectic schedule and making space often makes us feel physically lighter and happier, even when we originally thought it impossible to do so.

4. Let Go of People

Sometimes, we try to control our environment or others in an attempt to make things as we wish them to be instead of letting go and allowing them to become all they were meant to. We hold on too tight to our spouse, children, friends, or family for fear of losing them or attempting to form them into something we wish them to be instead of allowing them space to grow. We may force our preferences, timing, expectations, or worldview on them instead of loving them where they are and allowing them to grow into who God created them to be. But releasing our white-knuckled grip and letting go of control often allows ourselves and others room to flourish. Not forcing the outcome of situations but letting them unfold in time often leads to things we couldn’t have thought to ask for or imagine.

5. Let Go of People Pleasing

We would do well to let go of the weight of what others think of us. Caring too much about how others view us leads to people-pleasing. When we place undo importance on having people like us, we tend to behave inauthentically, not remaining true to who we really are, shape-shifting, or being agreeable even when we hold a differing opinion. But allowing others to have that much sway over us is futile. The antidote for this is to simply love others as we love ourselves through the love of God. In doing so, we become free of others’ opinions of us, secure in who we are in Christ and his love for us. When we let go of people’s approval and praise, we find lightness and greater peace.

Psalm 139:14 reminds us that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made”, and we are loved by God. It is his desire that we are made whole in him. Since “His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.” (2 Peter 1:3), we are well equipped through Christ and can let go of the old in anticipation of the new.

This year, may we have the wisdom to know the things we need to release to make room for the things of true importance. May we find the courage to let go of old patterns of thinking, old behaviors, people, and people-pleasing, and live uncluttered, free of unnecessary things that weigh us down.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfected of faith.” ~Hebrews 12: 1-2

Things to Ponder:

  1. What habitual thinking or behaviors am I hanging onto that no longer serve me? What can I replace them with?
  2. What things in my schedule do I need to let go of? If you are overwhelmed, don’t believe the lie that you can’t let some things go. Once you say no, you’ll be surprised by the degree of joy a freed-up schedule affords.
  3. You may need to look at how you may have fallen into people-pleasing to let go of some commitments. A good starting place is to ask yourself whether you are doing something for the praise of others or because it brings you joy and lines up with your gifts. This will take some raw honesty with yourself. Even too much of a good thing is too much, so find a way to cut things out. For more on this, see my blog post “Let Your Yes Be Yes, and Your No Be No” (link below)
Let Your Yes be Yes, and Your No Be No

Looking for some encouragement in the new year? Check out my 31-day devotional journal, Soul Focus.

Spring Cleaning… Sort of.

One of my least favorite tasks is sorting, yet by some form of a miracle, I have dedicated the past several days to just that. You’d think after this manner of torture, I would be uncharacteristically difficult to be around, but I’m delighted to report quite the opposite is true.

Approximately three years ago, I stumbled on Marie Kondo’s book, The Life-changing Magic of Tidying Up, and shortly after, Joshua Becker’s book, The More of Less. I began minimizing my wardrobe and removed three-quarters of my clothing. I took each piece off the hanger, held it or tried it on, and kept only those articles that ‘sparked joy’.

Next, I set to work on my bookshelf. It was packed full, dusty with books I’d inherited, a few of my personal favorites, and some textbooks from our university days. I took every single book off the shelf and saved only the ones I adored. I have since done this two more times and recently transferred some keepers to my new ‘studio’ space (formerly the homeschool room) now dedicated to writing and painting. That same bookshelf, located in the piano room, now looks like this…

bookshelf
Note the stray leaf on the floor messing with otherwise sheer perfection.

Continue reading “Spring Cleaning… Sort of.”

Let Your Yes be Yes, and Your No Be No

 

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I had an epiphany this morning. It went like this: what should I be saying yes to that I’m saying no to, and what should I be saying no to but have been saying yes to? I took a mental inventory. Upon entering the new year, or really any time, this sort of yes/no check-up is a worthwhile endeavor. After all, an unexamined life lacks direction and purpose. 

Let me take a small detour. About two years ago, I exacted a thorough decluttering of my life. I called it ‘The Year of No’. Once everything was stripped away, delightful ease arrived in determining the things that should never have been there in the first place, as well as other things that were healthy to allow back in. The fruit of this effort was a calmness and rest I’d never before experienced, as well as time to release two books! Continue reading “Let Your Yes be Yes, and Your No Be No”

Clutter Control

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I’ve been working on decluttering. It started when I decided to tidy up my diet. It spilled over into activities and over-involvement, then finally my home. No matter how much attention I place in these areas, there is consistent work to ensure it’s maintained. We all know how easy it is to slowly add junk food back into our diets, to say yes one too many times, or let a small pile build up on the counter.

Our thought life is no different. Like the mess in our homes, it needs to be cleaned up by regular attention and care. It’s easy to get busy and not set aside the time needed to declutter. A little bit of junk food here, a bit of compromise there, a small pile of unattended ideas left to mount, and suddenly, things get messy.

Cleaning up sounds so simple, but it takes diligent work. It requires we stop other pursuits long enough to examine ourselves, to listen, and pray in order to regularly deal with the clutter of thoughts, false motives, and sin that builds up on a daily basis. Adding to the challenge, the clean-up effort can easily be compromised by the enemy’s efforts to distract, deceive, distort, and detract from our identity and purpose in an attempt to destroy us.

Distraction

The enemy of our soul wants to keep you preoccupied to ensure you don’t see your faults. He knows that once you recognise your failings, you have the opportunity to change. With that, comes healing and power and he wants none of that for you. He works diligently by enticing you to fill up on junk food so you fail to ingest the riches of the kingdom. If you don’t indulge in his offerings, he will go to great lengths to further distract you with busy work to try to ensure an unexamined life.

Deception

This is the attempt to ensure we overlook the mess or fail to see sin for what it is. If distraction failed, Satan tries to deceive us into thinking we’re perfectly fine. In this proud state, we disregard our own faults because we’re too busy finger-pointing with one hand and patting ourselves on the back with the other. Even if healing is offered, Satan tries to prevent it by veiling us from our faults and keeping us preoccupied with our good works.

Detraction

This is the attempt to beat us down, make us forget who we are and how much we are worth. This compromised state often comes amid Distraction, as the result of too much junk food and not enough time with the One who aides the clean-up effort. Self-esteem wanes as pieces of our identity are chipped off and added to the mounting mess.

Distortion

Satan bombards the believer with lies, truth-twisting, and accusations in an attempt to utterly destroy them and their faith. He wants us to believe we are beyond help, the mess too chaotic and ugly to be cleaned up.

Destruction

Satan will stop at nothing to ensure our ruin. We are warned to, “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” (1 Peter 5:8). Destruction may come in the form of lost hope, crippling fear, disabling illness, shattered faith, poor choices, or relational breakdown to name a few. Though there may not appear a solution to the mess, there is still a way out.

Deliverer

God delivers us out of disastrous messes, even if we made them and even if we failed to do our part in the clean up. He responds to willing hearts turned to Him, and in His extraordinary mercy, sometimes He performs clean-ups even before the mess-maker fully notices Him.

We do well to be mindful of mounting messes, taking inventory on a daily basis and an active role in the areas God shows us require attention. But take heart, even if you have a mess on your hands, know that you have a Helper ready and willing to remove the clutter in order to free you from disarray and discouragement.

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  1. Set aside regular time for clutter control. You could pray this prayer: “Search me, God, and know my heart, test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalm 139: 23-24)
  2. Are there things in your life creating unnecessary distraction from time with God? Is it possible they are filling a need that can only be filled by God?
  3. Bring any messes to God and watch how He makes beautiful spaces in your life.