Becoming Brave

I thought bravery and fear were incompatible. Like oil and water, I thought you were either brave or fearful. But now I’m convinced it’s a combo pack with bravery coexisting with fear, maybe even handholding it.

It’s no small thing to be brave in the presence of fear.

Fear will try to talk you out of all sorts of opportunities to be brave. Learning to leave it behind is the space where dreams are composed.

Bravery means stepping forward while fear clutches your ankle and attempts to hold you in place. With every step, courage grows, and you gain confidence for the next brave thing. That can be anything from challenging yourself to try a new skill, moving to an unknown city, or—my personal favorite— mingling at a cocktail party full of strangers.

Those who look back on their lives with regret are often those who played it safe by standing still. They listened to the voice of fear, uttering things such as, “You’ll never make it,” “You’ll be rejected,” or “You’ll fail,” instead of overriding it with truths such as, “Every step forward draws me closer to the destination,” “Not everyone will like me, but I can still be a friendly person” or “Mistakes are learning opportunities.”

It’s easy to confuse fear and excitement. When we face fear, we can look closer and ask, “Am I afraid, or am I excited for something new?” It’s natural to feel a little off-kilter when trying something we’ve never done before or facing a new situation. At such times, we can reframe our thinking by embracing the unknown, moving forward with expectation and wonder, and releasing the need to control every detail. We can allow the anticipation to work its magic and help us be sharp for the situation. We can reframe our fear of failure as opportunities for growth.

For many years, I taught drama to youth and adults. Occasionally, a terrified actor would approach me before a performance and declare they couldn’t go on stage. I would help them reframe their fear by telling them that it was natural to feel nervous and that this good stress would quicken their mind. I would remind them that they were well-prepared. Each chose to step on stage even though fear attempted to hold them back.

Preparation is key, isn’t it? The more prepared we walk into a situation, the less fear we experience. Whether a play, an exam, a speaking engagement, leading a team or a meeting, or pitching a book (as I recently experienced), preparation is key to tamping out fear and garnering confidence.

If you’re struggling, give yourself a “brave” pep talk ahead of the event. Tell yourself specifically how you are going to show up. Things such as, “I will not shrink back, “I will take every opportunity to be brave,” “I won’t make excuses,” and “I will not talk myself out of doing the brave thing.” Visualize yourself confidently entering a room, introducing yourself to strangers, striking up conversations, and asking questions.

At times, we need to behave bravely before we feel brave. A fearless posture looks like walking tall with our head up, shoulders back, and arms uncrossed opening our hearts to the world and its possibilities. Make eye contact and smile. Move into the circle. Lean in at the table. Be friendly, and participate in the conversation. Actively listen instead of over-talking out of nervous excitement. Embrace the awkwardness of human interactions and be YOU in all your quirky glory!

Bravery is a sliding scale. In some circumstances, I’m brave with little fear; in others, I’m fearful with little bravery. What is easy for me might be terrifying for someone else, and vice versa. I may appear brave in some capacity to someone who, by contrast, seems unafraid to me in another. But universally, we grow braver every time we choose to be courageous in the moment. We gain more confidence when facing the next challenge.

“Leaving fear behind is the place where dreams are made.”

~ Melanie Stevenson

Tips for Becoming Brave

  1. Step forward despite the fear.
  2. Do the hard thing so the next hard thing is easier.
  3. Turn fear into opportunities to be brave.
  4. Ask yourself, is this fear or nervous excitement?
  5. Do the prep work in advance to fuel confidence.
  6. Visualize yourself being brave and adopt a fearless posture.
  7. Give yourself a pep talk ahead of the hard thing telling yourself the specific way you will show up brave.
  8. Embrace the awkward and uncomfortable.
  9. Be fearlessly YOU, quirks and all!

Verse: “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

May you walk forward bravely in God’s strength. 

Keep Creating. Don’t Stop Doing Your Brave Thing.

Writing can be a rather solitary occupation, and mostly, that has suited me quite well. Events like writer’s conferences, meetings, and retreats have been a stretch for me because they nudge me out of my introverted cave. Remarkably, four times in the past four months, I’ve gathered with Canadian authors at various writing retreats. It’s been a game-changer—inspiring, encouraging, and educational, not to mention a much-needed reminder that writers need each other.

Eden Mills Writer’s Retreat -Feb 25 & 26, 2023

Each of us requires our share of encouragement and healthy feedback, don’t we? To be cheered on, to be told our work has worth, and that what we do has the makings of beauty—the fingerprints of our creator himself—is what gives it meaning. In essence, we desire to know that we’re making a difference. And whether we use words, paint, numbers, tools, instruments, or equipment, we delight to know that the work of our hands is impacting this world for good.

This past December, I ran into a Music Professor I used to work alongside at our former church. He paused to speak to me before heading on stage to play a magnificent, hundred-year-old organ. We had no sooner begun chatting when he handed me an unsolicited compliment by saying, “You are the most creative person I know.” Though I am confident he is surrounded by extraordinary creatives at the college, and that his mind should have been preoccupied with the complex instrument he was about to play, his impeccably-timed encouragement breathed life into my spirit.

Brantford Writer’s Retreat – February 7, 2023

Much like the Professor’s compliment, these writing retreats have encouraged me and served as much-needed reminders to keep going. The life-giving words of other writers, offering direction and creative insight during our brainstorming sessions, have reignited my passion for writing and unearthed the motivation I needed to move forward after a sluggish year. It was more than I had expected when I took the chance and said yes to these invitations. And… I’ve said yes to three more including The Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writer’s Conference in North Carolina this spring.

Niagara Falls Writer’s Retreat – January 12-17, 2023

But isn’t it just like God to step in and offer practical help or reassurance? I’ve noticed God often uses others to accomplish his purposes—his people acting as an extension of his hands and feet on earth. God encourages us in other ways too. He teaches us, guides us, comforts us, and directs us through his word, Spirit, and even circumstances. He uses these varying methods to ensure we are not only held and directed but, in my case, don’t remain in a solitary writing cave!

I chose the word BRAVE as my 2023 word of the year. In 2020, I chose FEARLESS. Obviously, they are virtually the same—I like words so much I merely defaulted to a synonym—but I needed another crack at being fearless. Practice makes perfect… and all that. I also chose a couple of verses for the year for added inspiration. Feel free to borrow them if you like. I’ve left them at the end of this blog.

Refocus Writing Retreat – Guelph Bible Conference Centre – November 7-10, 2022

All this to say, my encouragement to you (and me) this year is to keep going! Your talents, skills, and creativity make a difference and bring beauty to this world, and, believe me, this world is aching for more beauty! And don’t be fooled into thinking that only the arts are creative. God made us in his image, and humans are innately creative. Mathematicians, scientists, architects, and business people (to mention only a few) creatively solve problems while creating newness and beauty all the time.

This year, join me in throwing off discouragement and disillusionment and bravely using what we have at our disposal to deposit beauty in this world.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9.

“May he grant you according to your heart’s desire and fulfill all your purpose.” Psalm 20:4

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Reflections:

  1. What are you putting off doing because of fear?
  2. What is one brave step you can take today?
  3. How can you create beauty in this world with your gifts and skills?

Check out the works of the Candian authors who attended these retreats:

  1. Sara Davison http://saradavison.org
  2. Helena Smrcek http://helenasmrcek.com
  3. Darlene Turner darlenelturner.com
  4. Sandra Orchard sandraorchard.com
  5. Stacy Weeks staceyweeks.com
  6. Tara Ross tarakross.com
  7. Olivia Zendo oliviazendo.com
  8. Sandy Ryerse sandyryerse.com
  9. Karen DeBlieck karendebliek.com

Fearless in 2020

This year brought numerous new and exciting adventures for my family and me. In September, I released my first novel, One More Tomorrow, and shortly after my devotional, Soul Focus – Trials, launched. In the spring, my son and daughter-in-law announced that they are expecting their first baby which means my husband and I are about to become first-time grandparents! This past summer, my daughter moved out to pursue her acting career, and this fall, I have been busy with other firsts such as book signings, podcasts, radio interviews, and a TV segment on See Hear Love alongside Ann Voskamp. watch episode here

On set at See Hear Love

 

Ann Voskamp and I share a hug on set at See Hear Love.

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My husband and I at the book launch of my novel One More Tomorrow.

All these changes have brought unknowns and the opportunity to camp out in fear or choose faith. As 2020 dawns, I am determined to dwell in peace. Instead of making New Year’s resolutions, I chose “Fearless” as my word of the year. To find out why you can read my blog entitled Fearless featured on See Hear Love. read Fearless blog

It is my hope that this year you too will find ways to intentionally live out of God’s peace as you ground yourself in his love, his word, and his presence. May we choose to hand over our fears to the one who offers to carry them for us, to make inroads of peace in our lives and the lives of all those with whom we connect.

Imagine what this year would it look like if our decisions were made by faith, imbedded with peace and hope instead of fear? If the words from our mouths were spoken void of fear? If our actions were not tainted by fear?  I hazard we will live more fully in the abundant life God promised and generously shower the overflow on others.

May you traverse into 2020 fearlessly and be blessed with mountain-moving faith!

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)

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If you are looking for a devotional to start out the New Year, consider Soul Focus – Trials, my 31-day devotional/journal. It offers nuggets of encouragement as you navigate through your unknowns and struggles. buy Soul Focus here

SoulFocus_Book_Trials_071619
Now available ISBN: 978-1-4866-1539-1 8-1 Description: If you’ve picked up Soul Focus, you may be facing significant trials of your own or are well-acquainted with the heartache they bring. It is my prayer that within these pages you’ll find comfort and hope as you face your hardship or tackle the mourning process that comes after. I began writing devotionals after being healed of nearly two years of intense physical pain. Soul Focus is the fruit of that pain. Through various trials, God proved himself faithful, and I discovered that joy and peace can be found during the darkest nights of the soul. Soul Focus offers daily, life-giving encouragement to help remind you that you’re not alone. Journaling pages are included throughout to record personal inspirations and reflections on the path to healing and hope.