Tag: Forgive

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Church Hurt – Sorrow Over Unjust Treatment Part 3 (The Journey Journals Excerpt #6)

God gave us free will. Often, we see this used for acts of kindness, selflessness, and love. Other times we are horrified to the degree some have used it to inflict harm.

The reason for this post is not to discuss the plethora of ways we hurt and sin against one another, but specifically how that hurt can happen within the church. I don’t come to speak about this difficult topic lightly but was encouraged to do so in light of this being an experience many have endured but few speak about. 

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First, I need to say that I was profoundly hurt within the church. I only divulge this to impart that I have some measure of understanding. More on that later, but if you have been hurt by someone within the church, I am incredibly sorry. I can affirm that it is painfully difficult to heal from and forgive this kind of harm.

I want to be clear that I do not broach this topic to cause division or stir up strife. Neither can I pretend that a single blog can repair the harm done to you by what you may have experienced within the church. It is, however, my desire that it provide a small measure of understanding, solidarity, or healing. 

A 2010 Barna Group poll indicates that 4 out of 10 people no longer attend church due to a negative experience with the church or from church people. Church abuse or mistreatment can occur in a number of forms. It can trickle down from leaders who are operating from a place of insecurity or out of a desire to control their adherents. It may infiltrate others who need to feel important or remain part of an inner group. This can blind or silence participants or bystanders to call out wrongdoing.

We have all heard heartbreaking and sickening stories of hurtful behavior or abuse exacted on others at the hands of those who attend church or leaders within the church. This behavior should not be overlooked and should be called out.

Unfortunately, there can be great resistance when you step into the calling out. Sadly, those who have caused harm but have power and wish to keep it, aren’t comfortable when asked to face or be accountable for their misbehavior. This is not the example demonstrated in the Bible.

In our situation, despite our repeated efforts to reconcile with leadership, and as a result of their unwillingness to recognize their sinful part in what occurred, we made the difficult decision to leave the church.

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The greatest displays of anger we see in Jesus were directed toward the religious leaders who were busy rule-keepers upholding the law with misdirected hearts. Believing that they were superior, they were ruffled by Jesus calling them out. So much so they wanted him killed.

The religious leaders would not stoop to associate with “rabble”. They were jealous of Jesus’s popularity with the masses and loathed his propensity to associate with the marginalized. And who did he think he was forgiving their sins? Jesus exposed the leaders’ counterfeit faith and their backward theology.

Here is a portion of the strong language Jesus used to describe some religious leaders: “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean.” (Matthew 23:27)

I mentioned earlier that God gave us free will. The trouble with free will is that God often suffers the blame for the sins of mankind, including the egregious behavior some have experienced within the church or at the hands of its leaders. In such cases, God may be seen as endorsing the abuse or that the leadership is representing God’s perspective, but in truth, both the behavior and the resulting separation it may cause grieves God’s heart.

Jesus described the behavior some experience from religious leaders this way: “They crush people with unbearable religious demands and never lift a finger to ease the burden.” Matthew 23:4

There are times when a leader may believe they are acting righteously and that their actions align with God’s will or word, but their behavior reflects blatant sin enacted against you. The pain and resulting dislocation of faith can be deeply painful and confusing.

I don’t wish to linger on the harmful actions or abuse but what can happen in the aftermath of such harm. Out of the intense pain of the experience suffered at the hands of people, especially those in authority/leadership, we can misdirect the hurt we endured. There are 3 reactions I have witnessed:

  1. Retreat. We decide that if that’s how people in the church behave, we want nothing to do with it. We may still believe in God but decide we will no longer attend church.
  2. Reject. Based on the mistreatment, we broadly ascribe that behavior to God painting him with the same brush as those who harmed us. We run from God and our faith.
  3. Reason. We mistakenly believe we somehow deserved the mistreatment and that God must feel likewise. 

As if the hurt wasn’t devastating, damaging, and bewildering enough, these responses can further dismantle our faith. 

What makes this even more grievous is that often God shoulders the blame for the sins humans commit. 

In my own experience, I needed to understand that despite the devastating mistreatment and resulting pain, this was not God’s heart in the matter. The treatment I received was not a reflection of how God felt about me, nor would he have treated me in the manner I experienced within the walls of the church. I know beyond a doubt that the Pharisaical treatment poured out on me grieved his heart, and although the resulting pain could have undone my faith, I recovered by the truth of God’s love, by relearning how he behaves toward me, through the love and care of other Christ-followers, and forgiveness. 

The main thing is, whatever you suffered isn’t a reflection of God’s posture toward you. God doesn’t mistreat his children. His heart is for you and he loves you. You are precious to him. What you suffered at the hands of people grieves him. Like a dear friend who is deeply saddened when you move far away, God desires you to be near to him again. Perhaps even more so when we are hurting, God longs to gather us closely to Him so that He can heal our hurts.

The God you may have run away from as a result of this painful experience is the very One who is able to heal you. In my experience, God is the one who can provide us with the strength to forgive those who hurt us and to move beyond this deep pain.

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We understand that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23) and that includes ourselves and those within the church. We mustn’t allow the sin of people, or our own sin, to cloud God’s true and perfect character and dictate how we relate to him, or others, going forward. God always forgives and always loves. “He will never leave you or forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6) He weeps with you in your pain and understands it through his own suffering.

God is able to redeem everything—even the hurt you experienced. He can help you to heal and move forward in freedom and forgiveness. Get to know his heart toward you anew, and understand that following God is not following a religion, a religious leader, or religious rule-keeping, it’s following Jesus and letting Him transform you into his likeness.

My family and I have since found a church where we feel safe and loved. God has redeemed that experience and allowed us to fully appreciate this church family and its leaders. There are many church leaders who love God and seek to lead like Jesus—the Good Shepherd—with great tenderness, humility, and grace, but however gracious they may be, they are a shadow of the graciousness of God.

I encourage you, don’t give up on God or the church. There is still much love, joy, and beauty to be found within the church, in relationship with others, and with God.

Click here to watch this week’s chat about church hurt.

Excerpt from my prayer journal:

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April 29, 2016

Lord, I see many evidences of how great your care and love is for us, how intricately you have been involved, and have met our needs, yet I find I need more. There is still the nagging doubt attached to the sorrow that lingers in my thought life. Still the insecurity that came with the treatment we received at the hands of the church leaders. It is ready condemnation, whispering that you are displeased, distant, and that I am on the outskirts of your affection. It seems to keep me stuck. I exist aware of your goodness and care, but not saturated by the assurance or confidence a child might have in the tender love and care of her father. Do I lack trust, faith, love? Probably. I’m just not sure what to do with… is it shame? Rejection? So I’m partly closed off; a protection mechanism, I suppose.

So I ask you to repair what is so broken within my spirit, soul, heart, mind, and even body. Make a way so that I can be renewed to love and be loved, not just exist, to get by one weary day after the next. Pull me out of the pit, push back the enemy. 

“But You, O LORD, are a shield for me, my glory and the One who lifts up my head. I cried to the LORD with my voice, and He heard me from the holy hill.” (Psalm 3:3-4)

Click here for more on how to forgive and recover from hurt: 7 Steps to Forgiveness. 

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The Journey Journals Excerpt #5: Sorrow From Unjust Treatment – Part Two (7 Steps to Forgiveness)

“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” ~ C.S Lewis

Last week, we looked at some reasons people hurt others and how we can choose to respond. In my Instagram post, I asked you to imagine your hurt as an anchor. That anchor is attached to a rope and that rope is tied to you. Everywhere you go, you drag that heavy anchor around. Its weight is depleting and exhausting.

Now imagine what it would feel like to cut that rope. How free would you feel?

Forgiveness is the scissors that cut the rope and set you free.

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The bitterness that settles in as a result of unforgiveness may seem innocuous, but I’ve experienced it as an insidious poison that chokes out love. The side-effects of bitterness— hatred and anger—affects us, our responses to situations, and all those in our proximity.

We might think that by hanging onto an offense we claw back control and hurt the offender. In truth, the only one we continue to harm is ourselves by repeating the cycle in our mind and heart.

When we forgive and “cut the rope”, our offender’s actions lose its power over us and we break the harmful pattern of reliving the event in our thought life. We are now freed from that repeated cycle of hurt and the person who caused it.

Forgiving doesn’t mean that you forget the offense, it means you choose to offer undeserved favor. It means you go against your natural bent to stay bitter and choose God’s way.

Remarkably, Jesus told us to, “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” (Luke 6:27-28) In doing so, we not only echo God’s treatment toward us, but this behavior sets us free. 

Here is a powerful and sobering reason to forgive. Jesus says, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (Matthew 6:14-15)

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God forgave us everything. Can we not, with his help, do the same?

How will we know if we have forgiven an offense? We’ll know the work is complete when we can think of the person who hurt us without being triggered. We’ll know it’s a finished work when we can pray for them and even bless them. Forgiveness may take time, God’s help, a concerted effort, counseling, and much prayer, but it is possible.

Forgiveness does not mean remaining in harm’s way or repeatedly enduring mistreatment or abuse. We may never see our offender again, and it may not be wise to do so, but we can forgive all the same.

Forgiveness is God’s upside-down way to peace and freedom. It’s the same unmerited forgiveness and freedom purchased for us on the cross and the forgiveness he asks us to extend to others. In doing so we become “children of the Most High.”

It is my belief that we are closest to the heart of God when we forgive.

As a helpful tool, I have included 7 Steps to Forgiveness below. If you would like to be lead through these steps, click here to watch the 7 Steps to Forgiveness video.

7 Steps to Forgiveness:

  1. Make a list of all the people you have never forgiven.
  2. Choose one person on that list to forgive.
  3. Repent by asking God to forgive you for holding onto this offense and bitterness.
  4. Ask God to help you forgive.
  5. FORGIVE.
  6. Forgive again—as many times as needed. This maintains our freedom! We can forgive but we don’t forget. The memory of the offense may return. It doesn’t mean we haven’t forgiven, but at that moment we can choose what happens next. We can stay in peace and adjust the former way of stewing about or reacting to the offense. Here, we change our thinking. Instead of rehashing it or falling back into the habit of bitter thinking, we choose to take our thoughts captive or forgive again if needed.
  7. Bless them. This completes the cycle. If I can wish my offender well and pray for them, I know I have forgiven them.

After you have completed these steps, do the same for the next person on your list until you have forgiven each person. You may need to ask a friend to pray with you through this process. I’ve also included a video here to help you through this process.

If you are having trouble forgiving, you may need to separate the person from the sin. They are not what they did to you. You may also need to first forgive yourself or God to free up yourself to forgive others.

Join me next week as I tackle the difficult topic of church hurt.

Much peace and freedom in your forgiveness journey. xo

The Journal Journey Excerpt #5 Click here to watch this week’s video

March 16, 2017

Lord,

I have felt disrespected and disregarded, and have been struggling to not grow bitter.

This morning I read how even as Jesus hung on the cross he said forgive them for they don’t know what they are doing. Being reminded of that was massive, it also helps remind me that they don’t know what they are doing either. But it is so easy for me to feel hurt due to the repeated behavior. You know I’m not great at forgiveness and have a tendency toward bitterness, so please help me to do what I know you would have me do: forgive.

This verse is a good reminder right now: “Walk worthy of the calling to which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” ~ Ephesians 4:1-3

Amen

 

 

 

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5 Ways to Reject Rejection

shutterstock_1173699898When we are rejected our immediate reaction is often to reject back.

We feel rejected so we reject.

Rejection is insidious. It cuts deep. It attaches itself to bitterness to gain strength. It can become a relentless cycle: rejection, bitterness, rejection. It makes us miserable and eventually affects our other relationships.

Hurting people hurt people and rejected people reject.

Let me explain how this can play out. I get rejected. Once rejected, I feel hurt. Once hurt, I want to hurt back. I grow bitter in my hurt, angry at having been rejected. The next time I see that person, I ignore them (aka. reject them). If I marinate in bitterness I end up rejecting others. By pushing them away I am further rejected.

In rejection, we become like frightened porcupines with extended quills. With our prickly exterior, you’d never know that all we really want is to be loved and accepted.

If we don’t break the cycle, we become habitual rejecters. Because we live in a state of rejection, our default is to reject others. Perhaps the worst part about this condition of the heart is that we send out a rejection vibe. It’s written all over us. We live on the outskirts of life, playing it safe. Anticipating rejection, we end up living bitter, cross, critical lives, keeping others at arm’s length. It’s ugly stuff. It’s lonely as heck. And it’s bondage.

It might surprise you that rejection also has to do with fear and control.

A source of rejection is the fear of what people think. I am much more prone to rejection when I’m caught up in how others perceive me or am trying to fit in. If I’m trying to control others’ perceptions of me, fearfully worrying whether or not they’ll like me, afraid of being rejected, I won’t engage fully and care for the needs of others. I’ll hold back and won’t be present engaging as my best self. I’ll control my behaviour and surroundings by disengaging. Assuming this posture, I’m more likely to be rejected.

What I should be thinking is, Who am I to think others should bow down to me? Why should I worry about impressing them anyway? What I should be doing is engaging fully, loving unconditionally, and caring deeply.

The truth is we will be rejected. In fact, life is full of rejection. We may not be able to control when or how often, but we can acquire skills to manage when it occurs. 

Here are 5 thoughts on how to reject rejection:

  1. I can change my response. Instead of taking offense and assuming mistreatment, I can make room for the idea that the person may have not meant to hurt me or even realized they have.
  2. I can realize that I am accountable for how I react to rejection. I’m not responsible for another’s behaviour, only my own. There’s no way to control the way I am treated or whether or not others enjoy my company. I’m only responsible for my response.
  3. I can keep myself free from bitterness by forgiving. Doing so also reduces the temptation to further reject. When I keep a tight rein on my thought life and refuse to let it percolate in bitter thinking, there is a greater chance my relationships will be fruitful.
  4. I can move from bitter to blessing and come in the opposite spirit. Instead of putting up walls, or rejecting back, I can show grace and love, engaging as my true self and blessing others with kindness independent of how I am treated. (Luke 6:26-27).
  5. I can remind myself that Jesus was ruthlessly rejected and yet he loved fully, engaged completely, and gave entirely. He gives me the wisdom and strength to do the same. I can remind myself that I don’t need to take my cues from others, but from God.

These are tough. They don’t come naturally. We won’t be good at them. They take determination, regular practice, and Christ’s healing and help. But with regular use, we come closer to the heart and mind of Christ and step further into freedom.

I love these verses from 1 Peter 2:23-25 from the Message translation:

“This is the kind of life you’ve been invited into, the kind of life Christ lived. He suffered everything that came his way so you would know that it could be done, and also know how to do it, step-by-step. He never did one thing wrong, not once said anything amiss. They called him every name in the book and he said nothing back. He suffered in silence, content to let God set things right. He used his servant body to carry our sins to the cross so we could be rid of sin, free to live the right way. His wounds became your healing. You were lost sheep with no idea who you were or where you were going. Now you’re named and kept for good by the Shepherd of your souls.” 

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  1. Who can you forgive and move from bitterness to blessing this week?
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A Broken Togetherness

19059562_10155076822815091_6085062570885595610_nTwenty-seven years of together. That’s a decent amount of time—a length I could hardly grasp when I said “I do.” Even now I can barely believe that span of time, even with the years stacked behind us, a beautiful bundle of children—all of it a blur of too fast.

It’s not for the faint of heart this thing called marriage. The years are uncertain, difficult, tumultuous, breaking. They are framed with laughter, stained from tears, and cushioned with faith, hope, and love—without which they’d crumble to certain death. But all of it is the making of a marriage and the making of us, together and individually.

It goes without saying that marriage is the choosing of a life lived alongside another. That recession up the aisle represents side-by-side living, saying no to selfishness, and no more going it alone—physically, emotionally, and even spiritually.

It’s a door flung open into your interior life, and the wider it remains, the better off you’ll be. Shutting the door in unforgiveness, complete self-reliance, or self-preservation isn’t an option. You signed on for a double passage.

It’s not a give and take mentality either. It’s a give and give again. Forgive and forgive again. And love—inside of imperfection—again and again.

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It’s not just proclaiming love in word but in being. In doing loving acts, speaking love out, responding in love, listening in love, sitting quietly in love when you’d rather tell him or her a thing or two. It’s staying when you’d sooner leave. It’s working to fix broken.

And to be honest, you’ll probably get wounded. Love fiercely and there’s a decent possibility. But it’s far better to love than to close yourself off in protection and precaution. That only serves to stifle vibrant love in all its various forms.

I’m no poster child for marriage done right. Ralph and my kids will tell you. Even so, I like to joke that because of him my crown in heaven will be too heavy to carry, and I’ll be assigned a full-time Seraphim flying overhead to hold it up. But he’s the realist and will tell you I’m no angel either.

But marriage isn’t I love you because you’re lovable. It’s closer to I love you in spite of the fact that you often aren’t. To know one’s faults and failings thoroughly and still love brings us closer to the heart of Jesus who loves us this way. To be wounded by that same person, forgive, and continue to love grows us to be like Jesus.

In this imperfect world full of imperfect people, love and marriage will likewise never be perfect. We are two broken people becoming less broken only now we do it together. Yet we often arrive in our marriage in this semi-broken state expecting perfect. So when life gets messy and our expectations of perfect go unmet or completely unravel, we think we made a bad choice. Instead of digging in and shoveling out of the chaos we concur the job is too hard and throw the shovel down.

But what if we agree that marriage isn’t perfection, nor is it the place where all our needs and desires will be met, but instead a broken togetherness.

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It’s not I love you because you’re beautiful, you complete me, you say and do the right things, and show up with chocolate and flowers (though that’s never a bad idea). It more closely resembles, if we are blessed with years I’ll love you until your skin sags. I’ll hang on to your hand over the hospital bed rail until your breath runs out. I’ll stay until the us becomes one again, and all that remains is the beautiful memories and the slightly less broken me once again.

So, here’s to another year of us—of we—amid our imperfections. May we love longer and larger than expected, and leave each other better than we found us.

 

 

 

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Making a Marriage Work

shutterstock_589431530Yesterday, I attended a wedding shower. The bride-to-be asked the guests to write words of wisdom on cards that she would collect and keep. It was a wonderful idea and each of us scrawled our advice across the card. I wish I had read a few besides the ones the ladies on either side of me wrote. Next month it will be twenty-seven years for Ralph and I, and it’s never too late to learn.

Being a fairly verbose person, I surprised myself by writing only one word: Forgive. 

I realize I could have filled the card, not because I’m so wise or wordy, but because there are so many things that a couple needs to learn to make a marriage work. Things such as communication, prioritizing time together, respectfulness, faithfulness, and selflessness. But for me, if I don’t forgive, the others fall apart too.

If I suffer from a bitter heart—as I’ve been known to at times—it chokes out my ability to fully tend to my marriage. The anger that comes from withholding forgiveness disables communication. The bitterness can cause distance, inhibit respect, ignite selfish behaviour, and, if I’m not careful, can dissolve faithfulness or faith in my marriage.

Anything you want to thrive takes hard work, and a healthy marriage is no exception. There are a host of things that conspire to dismantle a marriage. The lack of the things previously mentioned can be factors, but other tensions beat at the door too. Things such as sickness, financial trouble, long work hours, and constant travel. The relationship may be may strained by putting the children first, extended family issues, living for self, or passing blame. A refusal to take responsibility for their part in the marriage issues, differing interests or ideas, unrealistic expectations, or infidelity can tear a marriage apart.

Marriage is hard work; extending forgiveness makes it easier.

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I would be amiss to fail to mention love with regard to marriage. If love is the glue, I imagine forgiveness is a strong element of this cementing factor. And just like love, forgiveness is a deliberate action. It’s easy to say you love a person. It’s easy to love when the relationship is new and exciting and you feel loving, but as the years press on and the hardships press in, that feeling may wane. And so there are times when you make a choice to love even if you don’t feel loving, just as you forgive even if you don’t feel like it. Both are a deliberate act of the will. Both do wonders to keep your marriage alive and thriving.

Feelings come and go and aren’t always a reliable reality. You have a choice as to how you will behave within your marriage and toward your spouse. You can choose unloving actions or loving ones, you can choose to remain bitter or forgive. And all these deliberate choices can either dismantle or build up your marriage. Your “I do” was an agreement to work hard at something nearly impossible without forgiveness, and fairly impossible without love. But if you learn to persevere and work through each struggle, there’s a greater chance your marriage will grow stronger having overcome them.

This summer many couples will find themselves proclaiming their love at the altar. Since neither one is perfect, I hope their vows include a promise to forgive the offenses of the one they profess to love—as many times as needed. And if they find themselves at a loss, I hope that they seek help from others when needed, and learn how to craft a strong marriage graciously padded with forgiveness and love.

I’ll leave you with this song: Fight For You – by Grayson Reed https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lY0cdhDbmt0

Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

~ Colossians 3:13

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

~Ephesians 4:31-32

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  1. What is one thing you can think of that needs work in your marriage?
  2. Is there anything you need to forgive?

 

 

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Becoming a Lover

photo-1518568814500-bf0f8d125f46With the approach of Valentine’s Day, I’m giving you permission to love. Which is weird, I know, but maybe it needs to be said. Because let’s face it, love can be a little tricky. Mostly because people are tricky and do all sorts of things to make themselves unlovable.

They push love away with their meanness, their messiness, and their thoughtlessness. Maybe it’s a result of their baggage, their wounding, or not knowing any better. Which is sad, because even in the pushing away they really wish to be pulling in. But vulnerability is scary and takes courage, yet without those, love precariously teeters on pretense. To invite love in means to risk rejection or the ache of a broken heart. But love is the very thing our hearts need most.

As much as love can tear us asunder, it can just as easily heal.

Despite love’s glorious complexity, we need to learn to how to love, actually discipline ourselves to love, and chose to love under all circumstances. Every day we’re faced with opportunities to love so there’s no shortage of practice.

Part of love is respect. It’s listening to another’s viewpoint even when we don’t share it, extending kindness to the person whose choices or worldview you disagree with, and not tearing another down needing to prove your point.

Part of love is action. It’s refusing to turn a blind eye to need. It’s serving the stranger, listening to the lonely, and caring for your family.

Part of love is sacrifice. It’s the giving away of all you thought you didn’t have to give. It becomes tangible in the sharing of such things as time, money, or other resources that you could easily withhold.

Part of love is getting dirty. It’s refusing to remain on the sidelines of others’ lives but instead climbing into the trenches with them.

Part of love is bearing with one another and forgiving. It’s choosing to let go of hurt, blame, and shame. Quite often, we even need to learn how to love and forgive ourselves.

As we learn to love unconditionally, we become impervious to the ungracious acts of others. We discipline ourselves to not take offense, or grow upset or bitter, when treatment is less than admirable. And when we do that often enough, we grow loving.

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. ~ Colossians 3:13

But it’s more than respect, action, sacrifice, getting dirty, putting up with, or forgiving.

Love has to do with faith. Not in the people around you, who you are learning to love, but in the One who first loved you and sacrificed his life in place of yours. Without Christ, and the help of his Holy Spirit, I’d be remarkably unloving. My forgiveness capacity: borderline zero. Even with him it’s a daily struggle, because I prefer not to be mistreated, disrespected, or neglected.

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. ~ 1 John 4:18

As God nestles into our hearts, as we draw closer to him, there becomes room for miraculous, perfect love. I say miraculous, because apart from him, there would be little chance of fear-fleeing love. Christ suffered mistreatment, disrespect, and neglect himself. Through him—and the healing nature of his love—we learn to love fearlessly, courageously, habitually, and independent from others’ treatment. What they do, or fail to do, ceases to matter as much, and that protective wall we keep up—just enough to peer over but not let others penetrate— crumbles.

God’s love heals, purifies, strengthens, and perfects. But first, we need to let it in.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

~ Mark 12:30-31

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  1. Have you received God’s offer of love?
  2. What is your greatest barrier to loving God or others?
  3. Ask God to help you love creatively and courageously today.

 

 

 

 

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Moving Mountains: or how I was literally brought to my knees.

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Ten years ago I could barely walk, sleep, or carry my own purse. I could no longer drive. That’s how intense the pain had become. I’d been a runner for 28 years. My motto was, “Why walk when you can run.” Now I had no choice. It was nearing two years, and over ten health care providers, but no one could help me. On top of it, I became pregnant and couldn’t take enough medication to dull the pain. It seemed I was trapped in a hopeless situation. Continue reading “Moving Mountains: or how I was literally brought to my knees.”

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Thoughts on Forgiveness from a Bitterness Survivor

Give-Forgiveness

It’s easy to have the mindset that if we withhold forgiveness, we are in control and somehow getting back at the person who hurt us. We think, if I forgive them, it lets them off the hook. But holding onto unforgiveness not only allows the offender to vicariously continue to hurt you, studies show it can also make you unwell. When you forgive, you release yourself from the bondage of bitterness. Forgiving not only frees you from hanging onto the offense, it frees you from the offender, and makes room for full spiritual, emotional, and even physical healing.

Continue reading “Thoughts on Forgiveness from a Bitterness Survivor”