You’re Building a Life Right Now

I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Right now, at this very moment, you are building a life. Even during this pandemic. Even though everything seems to have come to a screeching halt. Even though it may not look anything like the life you expected to be living right now, or the one you were living a few short weeks ago.

friends
Celebrating my birthday back in February with my Mystery Club girlfriends when you didn’t need to stand six feet apart.

You may think that your life is composed of the things that have happened to you, but that’s not completely accurate. Your life is composed of how you respond to the things that happen to you.

Stuff happens. Sometimes A LOT. All at once. Hard stuff like sickness, loss, grief, disappointment, physical and emotional pain, and even pandemics. But our lives are more accurately the sum of the ways in which we choose to face and scale that stuff; the ways we tackle both the good and the bad count toward the lives we are building.

Every morning this week, I walked to the beaver dam on our property for The Beaver Dam Chats where I read aloud a selection from my devotional Soul Focus. You can find them on my Instagram account @melaniestevensonauthor.

Some people disregard the fact that they are building something of great value here on earth: their very life and the legacy they leave behind. Instead, they view life as a series of events of which they have no control. Almost as a victim, they traverse through the years, never stopping to take control of their thinking and how they are responding to what is being entrusted to them. It doesn’t occur to them to purposefully use their gifts, time, talents, resources, and even their hardships and triumphs for good.

Here’s a paradox. The tough stuff we’re given is a gift. The good stuff we’re entrusted with is easy to receive. It’s even easier to take for granted, and even easier still to forget to be thankful for. The COVID-19 virus has been especially good at highlighting this to us. What does it look like to unwrap this gift?

ralph and I
I’m thankful for this guy who manages to be hopeful & positive in all situations.

Throughout our lives, we’re entrusted with lovely and unlovely things. With either, you can choose to learn, grow, do good, and extend the hidden blessings from each. But it takes extra fortitude to grow out of the difficulties. To fight for joy in the midst of trials. To seek out peace in turmoil. To embrace love in the midst of hurt, rejection, and pain. And especially to overcome.

With the COVID-19 virus, I’m reminded of what it looks like to choose to live well despite difficulties. I’m reminded that we are building a life that matters in the midst of this stretching experience. Life hasn’t stopped. This is life right now while sheltering in place. Like any hardship, how we respond to it, traverse through it, and how we grow from it will have an impact not only on our lives but on the lives of those around us, and on the lives of generations to come.

opa and Monty
Opa Ralph enjoying precious time with our grandson.

I always tell my kids, nothing’s wasted. And that includes hardships. But I should add that nothing’s wasted unless we chose to ignore what it had to teach us. It is my hope that we will come out of this collective crisis stronger, kinder, and more resilient than when we went into it. That we would embrace its lessons and grow more patient, less entitled, and less distracted than before. That we would more fully recognize the value of close connection with family and friends than before we went in. That this time wouldn’t be wasted on us.

Our 11-year-old daughter is not wasting a moment of the precious time she has with her new nephew.

And I hope for one more thing. That we would look to Jesus and in doing so we would find our hope in him. That we would hand over our fear, frustration, disappointment, pain, hurt, and our very lives to the only One who can be trusted with it. In the giving over we find the very life we’ve been desperately searching for. As we move through this pandemic or anything else that comes our way, we can rest knowing God is our anchor, our comfort, and our hope.

I’ll leave you with this beautiful and poetic verse. It’s notable that the meaning of Baka in Hebrew is “to weep”. As we pass through this valley of weeping, or any other one we face, we can grow stronger and choose to keep our eyes fixed on Christ—our hope. Indeed, the life you are building profoundly matters, both now, and in eternity.

As they pass through the Valley of Baka,
    they make it a place of springs;
    the autumn rains also cover it with pools.
 They go from strength to strength,
    till each appears before God in Zion.

Psalm 84:6-7

Click here to purchase a copy of Soul Focus – Trials

 

52 Things I learned During our Home Schooling Journey

 

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Elanna’s Graduation – June 2018

Eighteen years ago, I embarked on an unlikely journey of teaching my children at home. I only planned to continue until they reached high school, but the three oldest chose to home school through grade 12.

We learned a lot of things during those years, but what sticks with me the most isn’t the multitude of things we gleaned from books, but the things we discovered about life and ourselves. Those years weren’t always easy. Life still happened. And though I was far from a perfect teacher or mother, we came out the other side loving and respecting each other. Today, I am humbled and blessed by the close relationships we share.

Below is a random list of some things I learned. I’m sure I can’t think of everything, but these are a few that easily came to mind. Although it refers to our home schooling journey, I have a feeling you’ll be able to relate, or, at the very least, may find it an encouragement!

52 Things I Learned From Home Schooling:

1. Show up, even when you don’t feel like it.
2. Any effort is better than none. It all compiles.
3. Bear with one another.
4. Patience is necessary – it grows when exercised.
5. If it’s not working, try harder. If it’s still not working, try a different approach.
6. Meant to and actually doing the job are two very different things.
7. It’s hard, but nothing worthwhile is ever easy.
8. Quitting isn’t an option. Redirecting your effort is.
9. There’s no such thing as perfection, but hard work, perseverance, and a good attitude are a close second.
10. Don’t compare yourself to others or you risk feeling both inadequate and missing what you were created for.
11. Laugh. Cry. Start again.
12. Speak truth when needed.
13. Don’t worry about what others think.
14. Character, integrity, and wisdom are more valuable than all the knowledge in the world. There are plenty of intelligent jerks.
15. Figure out what your passions are and build on those.
16. Nothing is wasted. No effort, trial, or experience.
17. Put down the books, leave the work, and go outside.
18. Play often.
19. Be kind. Speak gently. Smile freely.
20. Not everyone will agree with you. That’s okay. Accept your differences.
21. Make your encouragements more prolific than your critiques.
22. Those entrusted to you rise to your expectations. Set the bar achievably high.
23. Forgive yourself and keep moving forward.
24. Even if it’s difficult, monotonous, or thankless, you are still making headway.
25. Nothing stays the same forever. Cherish now.
26. Life has seasons. Learn what you can from each one.
27. Read beautiful stories out loud to your kids.
28. Besides God, be your child’s biggest cheerleader.
29. Expect the best in others.
30. Catch your kids doing good.
31. Tell your kids what you like about them, and about the good you see in them.
32. Keep hugging your children even if they appear to no longer appreciate it.
33. A little mess won’t kill you.
34. Say sorry when you’re wrong, then ask for forgiveness.

35. What you do speaks louder than what you say.

36. Talk your kids openly about your faith and failures.
37. Let them work alongside you so they learn from you.
38. Help your children see the beauty in nature and in other human beings.
39. If possible, travel with your children. These experiences offer priceless bonding and provide hands-on experience they won’t get from books.
40. Teach them to serve others so they won’t be self-serving, but compassionate.
41. Guide, don’t control.
42. They aren’t you. Don’t try to make them be. Give them ample space to be who they were created to be. Celebrate their individuality.
43. Take each child out on one-on-ones. You get to know them better this way.
44. Love your spouse.
45. Set clear boundaries and stick to them.
46. Help them form strong habits to achieve their goals.
47. Champion their dreams.
48. Let them make mistakes.
49. Don’t do for them what they can do for themselves.
50. Pray.
51. Let your children go and be the miraculous humans God made them to be. It was always the end goal.
52. Choose love first, always.
“Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.”
~ Colossians 3:14

 

Konnor and Kurtis’ graduation – 2014 & 2016

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1. What could you add to this list?
2. IS there one you could work on this week?