Tag: purpose

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Let Your Yes be Yes, and Your No Be No

 

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I had an epiphany this morning. It went like this: what should I be saying yes to that I’m saying no to, and what should I be saying no to but have been saying yes to? I took a mental inventory. Upon entering the new year, or really any time, this sort of yes/no check-up is a worthwhile endeavor. After all, an unexamined life lacks direction and purpose. 

Let me take a small detour. About two years ago, I exacted a thorough decluttering of my life. I called it ‘The Year of No’. Once everything was stripped away, delightful ease arrived in determining the things that should never have been there in the first place, as well as other things that were healthy to allow back in. The fruit of this effort was a calmness and rest I’d never before experienced, as well as time to release two books! Continue reading “Let Your Yes be Yes, and Your No Be No”

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A Lasting Impression

Waves, like fluid erasers, remove our imprints from the sand, dissolving them into the sea, and dismissing we ever stepped upon its granular shore. 

53532476_362438387694967_8287644696239407104_nWe just returned from a vacation in the Bahamas. One of my favourite parts of a mid-winter vacation to a warm location is taking walks along the beach. I soak in the sound of the waves unfolding onto the shore, absorb the sun’s warmth on my shoulders, enjoy the feel of the sand between my toes, and glimpse back at our footprints in the sand.

I found myself comparing the impressions we leave in the sand—so quickly swallowed by sea—to the impressions we will leave behind in the places we travel in this life. What kind of mark will we leave on this earth, particularly on other’s lives? Will it be quickly dissolved, or will our actions and words leave a lasting impression? If lasting, will they be impressions of bold beauty or petrified ugliness?

With a limited number of steps, we travel here and there making many deliberate choices that form a lifetime. As sojourners, will we leave people better than we found them, or will we be as litter strewn on the shores of their lives? How will we use what we’ve been given to make a lasting difference? Will we impress upon the lives of others beauty, truth, dignity, and love, or will we scatter indents of useless or destructive debris.

With God’s help and guidance, we can walk across neighbouring shores in humility, with gentleness, kindness, and patience, while offering mercy, comfort, and generous quantities of compassion. In this way, we leave imprints of peace, joy and love, by any means that we’ve been given, upon other’s lives.

We set aside our own wounding and bitterness—from others thoughtless impressions—and receive the healing waters that dissolve those unsightly marks. The watery waves of God’s love soften our sandy shores and prepare them to collect prints of beauty once again. And afterwards, we bravely step out to do the same for others.

Our lives are lived on purpose and with a purpose. No act of kindness or gentle encouragement, however small, is wasted. With each step, we can press beauty into all we touch and leave this place, and others, positively altered. Make no mistake, you will leave an impact. Choose well the nature of its composition.

It’s my hope that you and I would be ever-aware of the brevity of our lives, and spend each day wisely and purposely, creating beauty wherever we tread.

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. ~Psalm 90:12

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After the Rain – Seeing Life’s Hurts & Disappointments Differently

 

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In our youth, we race headlong into this one life filled with idealistic optimism. The world is an expansive unknown stretching far beyond us and filled with unending possibilities waiting to be harnessed. At this stage, there are no limits to what can be accomplished, no unforseen roadblocks or impending disasters, and no reason to believe our dreams will not be realized.

But then, as it’s prone to do, life happens. Some of it by our choosing, and some coming upon us as an unexpected downpour, and we discover that life isn’t perfect. After some repeated saturation, we may look at our life and declare, “This is not how I expected things to turn out.”

At this point, we often choose a pity party, sometimes even a tantrum, stomping and flailing about how unfair it all is. Or, we can towel dry our hair, gather courage and hope, and discover ways to dance despite the downpours and drink of the falling drops. Because here’s the truth: the most fragrant beauty radiates after the rain, and sunsets are most spectacular as the storm clouds recede.

Even though you never asked for any of it, even though you thought you would be further along in your journey, or imagined your life differently, this is it. No matter what has passed, or what you thought it would look like, you cannot change one single bit. This is your one life. And you have a choice. Will you let what has happened this far shape you – rearrange you if needed – to grow, to overcome, and to fully flourish?

We ignore the blessings we’ve been given when we focus on how our lives failed to unfold how we imagined, when we linger on the wreckage of what went wrong, the injustices enacted against us, or the ways we’ve let down ourselves or others. In our misperceptions, we forget this place isn’t meant to be perfect, and neither are we. This is a rehearsal, of sorts, for things to come. When the last curtain is drawn, and we arrive at our final destination, then and only then will all be as it should.

I rather adore this verse:

“The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” ~ 1 Samuel 16:7

It reminds me that using the world’s measuring stick to determine success is rubbish. That God’s measurement for a successful life looks dramatically different. It’s possible that the very place we find ourselves, and the very person you and I are right now, is just where and who God would have us be, however inglorious, unattractive, desperate, downright ugly, or devastating it may be at present. That’s meant to be encouraging!

However disappointed we are with this patch of life so far, God doesn’t see your journey in any way wasted. However hard we buffet life’s storms, however unwelcome we make trials, even downpours can usher in beauty, refine character, and construct in us an enduring peace and patience the likes of which we had yet to know, not to mention prepare us to walk with added fury – a true force to be reckoned with – for the next leg of our journey.

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I like to think God looks at us – and our lives – rather like we used to as a child: full of possibility and hope, and without limits. And maybe, just maybe, from here on in, we would take His outstretched hand in ours, be led through the storms, navigated through the roadblocks and disasters, and follow Him out the other side, joining Him in puddle jumping, reclining by His side mesmerised by the sunset, while drinking deeply of the fragrant beauty of His love. Maybe then we will see our one life for the truly miraculous gift it is. Besides, by now you realize the best is yet to come anyhow.

I’ll leave you with this reminder:

“Now God has us where he wants us, with all the time in the world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It’s God’s gift from start to finish! We don’t play the major role. If we did, we’d probably go around bragging that we’d done the whole thing! No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and the saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing.” ~ Ephesians 2: 7-10

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  1. Start a list of things you can be thankful for.
  2. Ask God to help you redirect your heart and thoughts to thankfulness. Develop a habit of replacing disparaging thoughts with thankful ones.
  3. Pray over each disappointment/disaster, handing it to God to make beauty out of. This may take time, but it’s worth it!
  4. Memorize a passage of scripture as encouragement during the downpours.

 

 

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You Are Valuable

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I’m just going to put it out there. You are valuable.

I don’t care how long it took you to finish your homework, that you failed grade ten math – twice, that you don’t have over 500 Instagram followers, a diploma or letters after your name, a lucrative job, or feel successful. None of that takes away from the fact that you are valuable.

It’s no accident that you find yourself on the earth at this particular period of history, or that you are alive at all for that matter. Despite what you may have been told or believed, you aren’t an accident. You were made to not only be alive at this point in time, but to also to be a difference maker.

You should also know that your worth isn’t composed of the things you have accomplished, or failed to accomplish. You are loved with a ‘just because’ kind of love that says I created you in my image and died to save you for eternity. Do you feel a little more valuable now?

Think about this: the Creator of the universe fashioned you in His likeness and wanted you to be with Him when your earthly days come to an end, so He made a way through His Son Jesus – because you matter that much to Him. That makes you valuable and LOVED.

Going back to the fact that you are living on the earth right now, as I mentioned, that’s not an accident. There are things here for you to do, that only you can do, in the way only you can do them. It doesn’t matter if you think those things aren’t all that spectacular. They matter both here and in eternity.

I imagine collective breaths held in heaven, soundless in anticipation of witnessing the working out of things only you can do, and then massive celebrations when you do them – from the seemingly insignificant to the prize-winning. The smallest brush stroke, to the celebrated masterpiece. The bridge-building handshake, to the freeing act of forgiveness. The belly laughter of a child, to the comedian’s crafted humour. The band-aid applied to a skinned knee, to the surgeon’s careful stitches. Reminding an Alzheimer’s sufferer of their name, to declaring the name of Jesus. All displays of wonder to be celebrated from here to heaven.

So don’t be afraid to do that thing you do. From barefoot dancing to belly dancing and beyond, do it in the way that only you can. And don’t wait to hear the human hand-clapping – the applause from heaven will be much sweeter. Just use your unique gifts while you still have breath, because it not only makes your Father in heaven smile, it might even make someone’s day.

You are valuable. You matter. You are uniquely gifted. You are loved. Out of the 7.6 billion people on earth, there is no another person out there who can do the things you do in precisely the way you do them. So get to it!

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.  ~ Matthew 10:29-31

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  1. Are you believing the lie that says you are worthless? Ask God to show you how He sees you, and let Him free you to be all He created you to be. Psalm 139 is a great reminder of how you are loved.
  2. What is something you have to offer this world. What gift or talent can you use to make a difference?
  3.  Champion others by encouraging the gifts and talents you see in them.
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How Much Life Are You Giving Away?

Body-Awareness

How much of your life are you willing to give away?

That’s a big question, but we do it daily – unthinkingly. Henry Thoreau said, “The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.” We exchange our thoughts, our energy, and our finances for various activities, stuff, or other people – often with little thought. Only those with limited time know how limited time is. We’re given only one life and twenty-four hours each day. The question is, how much of it are you willing to give away, and for what purpose or person?

Thought Exchange

How is your thought life? We have the choice to use our thinking on anxious, negative, self-depreciating thoughts, or peaceful, life-giving, mind-renewing thoughts. We have the choice to be jealous, envious, and wish our life were different, or be content, thankful, and celebrate with others in their success. We can tear others down, or build them up. We can be fearful and angry, or choose peace and trust. The trouble is, we’re prone to let our mind wander and go its own way instead of paying attention to our thoughts. The Bible suggests this exchange:

…demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. ~ 2 Corinthians 10:5 

Taking thoughts captive demonstrates that our thinking can be controlled. In captivity, we examine those thoughts and sort out if they are lies or truth. We throw out the lies and grapple with the truth. We can intentionally exchange fearful thoughts for faith-filled ones, destructive thoughts for edifying ones, and can choose peace and joy in any circumstance. Like clean eating, our thought life grows healthier by what we ingest, and this clean thinking has a positive effect on every area of our lives.

Energy Exchange

We can spend a lot of time doing things we aren’t necessarily meant to be doing, things we might not be naturally gifted at, things that distract and detract from our passion and purpose, things that take time away from our loved ones, and leave us feeling exhausted and empty.

We might be wearing ourselves out being a people-pleaser, running from this activity to the next hoping to hear human hand-clapping while missing the still, small voice of God. His wisdom guides us to use our hours wisely, giving purpose, direction, and enough strength for each day. He says,

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ~ Matt 11:28

Our greatest joy is found where our passion and God’s purpose collide.

Financial Exchange

Like our other resources, we can use our finances purposely and intentionally, or squander it unwisely. The way we expend our finances clearly displays our heart. The Bible says that,

…the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. ~ 1 Timothy 6:10

Note that it doesn’t say money itself is evil, but instead the love of money. We can exhaust much time attempting to gain more money. That money can be used to build a great many things and buy a great deal of stuff, but with thoughtful intention it can be used to invest in eternity.

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. ~ Matt 6:19-21 

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. ~ Proverbs 4:23

Every day, we are offered an opportunity to spend some of our thoughts, energy, or finances to help and comfort others. If we’re too busy, too self-absorbed, too tired, or too greedy, we might overlook the needs around us, and even fail to prioritize our own needs. Taking time to care for others, especially those whom God has entrusted to us, speaks to the posture of our heart. Since God is love, and the source of our ability to love, He should be the person we spend a significant portion of time with. When we do, it becomes easier to discern the appropriate amount of life to exchange for everything else. With Him we can live on purpose with purpose.

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  1. What things in your life are worth expending your thoughts, energy, and finances on? Make a list of what you most value. Does your list and how you are using your life line up?
  2. Take a look around you? What do you see? What does it say about your heart?
  3. Do you think you need to make some changes? If so, make a plan and start taking some small steps.
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You Are Enough

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After home schooling my four children – the collective sum of eighteen years – my youngest recently decided she would like to go to school. We looked into schools in our area and chose one that seemed the best fit. The school required she take a placement test. If you’re a home school mom, you don’t need me to tell you how that feels.

While I waited for the day to arrive, waited as she wrote the test, and waited for the results of the test, all manner of fearful thoughts played in my mind. What if I hadn’t done enough? What if there were gaps in her learning? What if she writes the test and they tell me she can’t go into her grade? What if…

My husband and friends encouraged me. She’s fine, they said. You’ve done a great job. I tried to remind myself that there was much treasure in all that we had done, so much precious time together as a family and with grandparents, and opportunities for them to dig deep into their natural bent – so much that could never be measured in a test. But still it was there, that nagging voice whispering, You didn’t do enough.

I shouldn’t be surprised. That’s the world’s daily mail, isn’t it? You’re not good enough. Do more, be more, have more…more, more, more. And the frenzy is real. And it was real inside my head too. If my daughter failed the test, I would have failed. Would that mean all those years were wasted?

Einstein said, “Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts.”

Such true words. True of our home school journey, and true of our lives too. If you are looking at where you’re at right now and wishing it were different, or thought you would be further along in your goals and dreams, or could have done better at this or that, know that there is much to be said for the things that may never be seen, praised, applauded, or awarded.

Because all those times you got up, showed up, and did your best when it was hard to do anything at all, mattered. The times you smiled when inside you were breaking. The times you chose to laugh when you wanted to cry. When you kept silent instead of using harsh words. When you retaliated with kindness. When you held it together even though you felt you were falling apart. All of those, though they may never be counted, COUNTED.

Because how on earth can you measure compassion, kindness, humility, sacrifice, grace, gentleness, tenacity, faith, hope, love, and all the brilliant, imperfect, fiercely beautiful moments in-between that fill our lives? You can’t, but that doesn’t mean they don’t count or that they remain fully unseen.

I think of Jesus’s life. For three years he ministered to crowds and individuals. He healed and told God’s message of love and salvation. Then he was brutally killed on a Roman cross. At that point it appeared as though his 33 years on earth were wasted and counted for nothing. But though his life’s work seemed a failure, that wasn’t the end. Three days later, he rose again, conquering death and making a way for us.

I can’t help but think we’ll be surprised at the end of our lives too. We don’t have to be the best, or perfect, or fully together for our lives to count. And here’s another truth, no matter how hard you try, you’ll never feel good enough or be good enough anyway. That’s meant to be reassuring! Here’s why: it’s not up to us! Jesus makes you good enough. His blood shed for you on the cross covers all your sin. Believing by faith this love offer makes you good enough. In fact, it makes you spotless in God’s eyes. He’s the one for whom all your unseen effort matters. He’s the purpose for your purposes. And one day, when you and I arrive in glory,  it will all make sense. We’ll see that even the smallest act wasn’t wasted.

I hope the voice we hear louder than the others is God’s who tells us: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  (2 Corinthians 12:9) That sounds vastly different from our daily dose of be better, be perfect, and you’re not enough, doesn’t it? Through Christ, we’re not only enough, we have all we need to fully live the life we’ve been gifted with.

It all turned out well. My daughter tested at grade level. But even if she hadn’t, I know she understands many beautiful things that test couldn’t possibly measure, things unseen that count all the same…maybe even more! The same is true in your life!

May you understand your true identity as a whole, fully loved child of God, and live out your purpose in the midst of His spacious love.

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  1. In what areas do you not feel good enough?
  2. How do you think God feels about those things and about you?
  3. Align your thinking to God’s in this area, and continue on in His strength and peace!
  4. Trust in Jesus and place your life, your purpose, your plans, in God’s care.