Tag: stress

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Facing Worry

They say don’t worry about things you have no control over—whoever they are. Don’t worry. Don’t stress. It’s all good. But is it? I’m not convinced this brushing off business is the best approach. There must be a better way. Better than working hard not to worry. Better than pretending things are okay when they’re not. Better than trying not to feel when it actually hurts, or putting on a brave face when clearly, what you’re facing is tough.

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But we get good at it, this game face. This presenting to the world, posting polished pictures, and smiling while answering, “I’m good thanks” day after day. After all, no one wants to bring others down. And so, along with trying to dismiss the stresses and struggles, we drown them out. But worry has a way of bubbling to the surface.

God knows we struggle with worry. That’s why he tells us: “do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?…seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (see Matthew 6:25-34)

There are a plethora of things we could try not to worry about. But what if instead of burying our worries and fears, or icing over them, we face them? Acknowledge they actually exist? Look them in the eye and give them a name, instead of ignoring the ever-growing elephant in the room? What if instead of feeding ourselves platitudes to get through, we—in an act of fierce courage and self-care—stop and take an honest look at what’s troubling us and then do something about it?

We often have no control over the source of our worries, but we do have control over our attitude toward them. We can take responsibility for our thought patterns. Though we might not be able to fix the problem, we can fix our thinking. Instead of telling ourselves not to worry, we haul that pile of worry—in its various forms—to God. And in the handing over, the confessing it’s too heavy for us alone, we allow God to help us carry our burden. Then we train our brain to think differently.

cast all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. ~ 1 Peter 5:7

We weren’t meant to excuse our cares and concerns, neither were we meant to drag them around. We can tell God about them, releasing them to him. As we offload them, we feel lighter. It doesn’t mean the problems disappear, it just means we have help and an adjusted perspective to work through them. In this way, we proactively face them, and like most things we pay attention to and give a concerted effort toward, they begin to positively shift.

We could spend a whole lifetime dreading events or outcomes that never occur, stressing over all the bits we can’t control. But these moment-by-moment choices in our thinking  end up comprising our lifetime. We have a choice regarding what we allow our minds to be preoccupied or consumed with, and we have help to master it. Why would we knowingly waste our life on worry?

With God’s help, we can live light, unhindered, free of the weight of worries, and make no allowance for frivolous, fearful thinking. Life-giving thoughts and actions begin to prevail and create spacious places for joy and love to pour into moments and into the lives of others. A life lived undistracted by worrisome thoughts and paralyzing fear. One of freedom and purpose. A life-changing life, lived leaning into God.

Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. ~ Hebrews 12:1-3

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  1. What worries are you carrying with you today?
  2. Hand them over to God to help you and strengthen you.

 

 

 

 

 

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It’s Easier Than You Think

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This is my encouragement to you today:

Whatever you are facing, it’s easier than you think.

It’s our thinking that gets us into trouble. We build things up in our minds to be much larger than they are. With our vast imagination, we form small things into big. Tasks loom large—both the time we imagine they will take and the amount of energy we think they will consume. The sheer thought of some things can be immobilizing.

But the battle is won in our thought life.

My mum used to tell me, “Don’t make mountains out of mole hills.” Hearing this used to annoy me, but it was her way of admonishing me not to make a circumstance bigger than it actually was—a gentle reality check. We need this same check throughout our day. Borrowing trouble from tomorrow, inflating something out of proportion, or living in dread, is a sure way to stifle joy, hinder creativity, and heap refuse into your mind.

Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. ~ Matthew 6:34

We expend a lot of energy worrying about a plethora of outcomes that never come to fruition. How often have you dreaded a task, a confrontation, a meeting—delaying or avoiding it—only to later reflect that it wasn’t nearly as difficult or time-consuming as you had built it up to be? Once you jumped in, it flowed much smoother than you imagined, and you wonder why you expended all that energy stressing over it.

It’s human nature to avoid pain. We all prefer comfort, so if we view a task as hard or uncomfortable, we falter. If we look at a situation and deem it impossible, we give up before even starting. But what if we could rejig our mindset? What if instead of engaging in defeatist thoughts, procrastinating, or projecting difficulty, we purposed to shift our thinking? And what if we had help to do so?

We can start by acknowledging our cares and fears instead of ignoring them. Once we do that, we can:

cast all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you. ~ 1 Peter 5:7

Once we recognize then unload our cares, celebrating that we don’t have to carry one ounce of the weight of them, we can shift our thinking to a place of thankfulness. We can be grateful that we have the opportunity to face fears, knowing that in doing so, the circumstance won’t remain the same, and neither will we. We can then ask for strength and courage to move forward, one small step at a time, to exact change or tackle a task.

Even a simple attitude adjustment can make a vast difference. As we begin to positively alter our perspective towards hard or uncomfortable things—and ask God for help to release fear—we can secure a mindset of faith, and our thoughts toward what lies ahead become lighter and more manageable. We no longer feel frozen but free.

God not only offers help in the form of carrying cares and helping us conquer our challenges and fears, he offers peace and protection.

 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ~ Phil 4:6-7

God invites us to hand over our anxieties to him. We can ask for his help in any circumstance. In place of fear, he offers inexplicable peace that guards our hearts and minds against fearful meanderings.

The next time you are facing a mountain, do a double take. It just might be a molehill in disguise.

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  1. List three things that have been consuming your thought life.
  2. Bring each to God and release them, asking for help to face them.
  3. Move forward and prayerfully tackle them with God’s help.

 

 

 

 

 

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12 Things to Stop Doing Right Now

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Every so often, my 17-year-old daughter gives me a wake up call. She’ll say something like, “Mom, you need to stop…” and it can be anything from stressing, to some sort of negative thinking. We need people in our lives to keep us in check. I tend toward the melancholy and appreciate my extroverted, optimistic daughter who dreams big and pulls others along for the ride. In celebration of those who set us straight, I’ve put together a list of 12 things we can do right now to improve our outlook and our lives.

  1. Stop stressing. It’s easy to get caught up in fret, worrying about things that should take a back seat in your life. Instead, put them in their place, last in priority, and let the things that really matter be at the forefront. Don’t waste today worrying about things that may happen, but instead celebrate the gifts in front of you right now.
  2. Stop trying to please everyone. Being a people pleaser can make you lose yourself and your truth. You cannot please everyone. You will get misunderstood. Some may dislike you, some may get angry at you. You will be too much for some and not enough for others. Trying to meet another’s expectations is like running on an endless treadmill. Know who you are, whose you are, and rest in that.
  3. Stop trying to do it all. Being busy all the time will leave you physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually bankrupt. Don’t accept the lie that says you can’t slow down. Create some space in your life. Fight for it if you must. Make time to reflect, to breathe, to be. Take time to fully appreciate the moment you are in and that you are alive. Set aside time to be fully present for your loved ones.
  4. Stop trying to be perfect. Perfect is an illusion. Strive for excellence, improvement, to keep growing, to move forward – anything but perfection. You will occasionally mess up. Forgive yourself and keep going.
  5. Stop thinking that tomorrow, the next day, or the distant future will be better than now. Don’t wish away today, with its beauty and heartaches. While it’s great to be optimistic, let’s not throw away our moments. Many moments strung together make up a life. Live this moment to the fullest – aware of your future destination – without wasting what’s in front of you.
  6. Stop focusing on the negative. The good, the bad, and the ugly has shaped you this far – for better or for worse. Recognize the worse, don’t make it a curse. There will always be mountains to climb, but the view up there is fantastic! Beauty and blessings are all around you. Take note of the beauty and count your blessings.
  7. Stop berating yourself. What is your internal voice telling you? If you have a lovely British mum like mine, you know it’s impolite to brag. But a little internal gloating is acceptable. Celebrate the things you are good at, how far you’ve come, and that you’re not the same as you were last week or last year. Forgive yourself for your failings. Make a list of three things you like most about yourself. Look in the mirror and tell yourself, I love you.
  8. Stop thinking you can’t be replaced (hear me out on this one). Thinking that if you left a position there would be no one to fill your shoes can lead you to stay in a place longer that you should, stall you from moving forward in your purpose or calling, and prevent others from the blessing of filling that role. Your position is not your identity. It’s a way you get to help and serve for a time. Be wise to see when that season is over.
  9. Stop comparing yourself or your journey to others. It’s easy to compare your life to another’s when you’re in a tough place. You get to see the polished parts of another’s life. Remember, all that glitters isn’t gold. Everyone has struggles. Your trials are making you a stronger, more 3-dimensional person who can fully relate to others in their struggles. Despite how the rough patches make you feel, if you let them, they will make you more beautiful. You are unique, one-of-a-kind. Your gifts fit your purposes and the time you’ve been given on this earth. Passionately use your gifts and your life, without wishing for someone else’s, and you’ll find yourself so in love with what you’re doing that you wouldn’t trade it for another’s.
  10. Stop believing lies. The cants and the nevers should be out-of-the-question. The Accuser offers a steady diet of whispered lies to wear and tear you down. God’s corrective encouragement offers forgiveness, direction, and hope.
  11. Stop holding on to hurts. Release them and the people who inflicted them. Mercy and forgiveness is your path to freedom.
  12. Stop being afraid to love. Love lavishly, like you’ve never been hurt. Love fully without conditions or expectations. Love for the sheer sake of it. Tell your loved ones how much you love them.

What would you add to this list? I’d love to hear any of your ideas!

Encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

~ 1 Thessalonians 5:11

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  1. Which of the above do you most struggle to stop? Look for ways this week to face this area head on. Ask God for help to overcome it.
  2. Write down three things you like about yourself. Thank God for how He made you, and look for ways He can use those in your life and for His purposes.