Finding Thankfulness

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I’m thankful for my hubby.

Confession: Fall isn’t my favourite time of year. I much prefer hot, hazy mid-summer days. I adore my garden at peak performance showing off its full glory. I relish a few lazy minutes of reading on the porch with the birds’ chorus adding to the unfolding beauty. There’s the endless, sunspun blue skies, and the warm evenings begging us to linger outside and squeeze the most out of the long days of light. Even as I write this, I’m still mourning summer’s end. 

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I’m thankful for my garden.

But its fall and, in Canada, that means a few changes. And with the changing season come a few things I could stand to be grateful for. Things like: apple cider, the smell of smoke sauntering out of hundred-year-old chimneys, the blazing leaves letting go, comical gourds, pumpkin pies, fall Mums, and cosy sweaters. Maybe you could add a few of your own.

My daughter adores this time of year and makes a fall list – traditions that she keeps each year. Among other activities, she decorates her room, visits the pumpkin patch with a friend, then painstakingly carves the perfect pumpkin once home. She makes procuring a pumpkin spice latte a must, makes a fall play list, and even dresses up for Halloween to hand out candy at our door. Through her, I’m trying to increase my affection for fall.

But no matter where we find ourselves this autumn, no matter how much you cherish the changing seasons, how amazing, or not-quite-so-amazing, your circumstances may be, the truth is we can always find something to be thankful for. Thanksgiving is an ideal reminder that we really should be living each day thankful, not just one weekend.

Here are some things I’m thankful for: a simple breath of outside air, the late-day sun on my face, a flock of migrating birds crossing overhead, a sip of warm coffee, the bite of food in my mouth before thinking of the next, and a moment of stillness in my home (like this one when no one is making a sound). I’m thankful for my dear friends who love and cheer me on, my children who encourage me to do big things, and my husband who still loves me after 26 years of intimately knowing my every fault. And I’m thankful that God, who knows me even better than that, gave His Son because He thinks I matter.

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I’m thankful for my kids.

This act of being thankful has a way of brushing the cobwebs of ingratitude away. Like the way we gripe in our childish entitlement, or the way we have mini-fits when the world doesn’t give us all we asked for. Thankfulness acts as an automatic attitude-shifter, and the everyday, moment-by-moment practice of it helps us approach our minutes with a healthier, life-giving focus.

There are times so bewilderingly dark, so emotionally or physically painful, that it seems virtually impossible to find a single thing to be thankful for. But even when the light is scant, look hard. There is always a small ray of hope shining in that darkness and lighting something of which to be thankful for – even if it is that next breath.

And, like anything, the more we practice thankfulness, the easier it becomes. What if this weekend we start, and then just keep going – this month and this year – and develop a solid habit of finding something to be thankful for each day, and especially in times of difficulty? I have an inkling we might experience an increased dose of contentment, peace, and joy.

     “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”                      1 Thessalonians 5:18

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  1. Have you made a “Thankful List”?
  2. Develop the practice of finding things to be thankful for each day and even each moment.

The Comparison Antidote

“…for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” ~ Philippians 4:11-12

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It’s tremendously easy to get caught up in comparison. So simple to look at those around us and compare our physique, our intelligence, our skills or talents, our standard of living, the decor in our homes, our children’s behaviour, or our perceived level of success. You name it, we’ve probably compared it.

Once the comparison is complete, we rank ourselves on whether we’re better off. If we decide we’re higher up the totem pole, we feel rather good about ourselves; if not, we feel quite the opposite. Both are equally dangerous: the former leaves us open to pride, the latter to feeling insecure and insignificant.

Comparison is insidious because – left untreated – it can lead to discontentment, anger, bitterness, competitiveness, covetousness, condemnation, jealousy, lack of self-worth, and the breakdown of relationships. If I think you’re better than I, and allow that to make me feel less, I’m open to the assaults of the ever-ready accuser of my soul. He’s ready to whisper lies and insults at every turn, or drag up past words of criticism to fuel the fire of discontentment and low self-esteem.

Is there an antidote for comparison? The Bible says that “godliness with contentment is great gain.” (1 Tim 6:6) A healthy dose of thankfulness can help reverse our comparison illness; a healthy dose of God redirects our eyes. Keeping our eyes fixed on God, and continuing to be thankful, can help heal us to the point of contentment in any and every situation so that we will “not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Phil 4:6-7)

Each one of us undergoes different challenges and circumstances. If we can discipline ourselves to abide and be thankful in every circumstance – both the good, the bad and the ugly – we’ll be more likely to live in contentment. In doing so, we’re better positioned to authentically celebrate both our own and others’ achievements, as well as encourage and comfort others in their distresses and failures. By adjusting our attitude to be one of thankfulness, and staying the course with Christ, we’re also more likely to walk in freedom, enjoy closer, more significant relationships, and remain secure in who we are in Christ.

Perhaps we could stand to be a bit gentler on ourselves and others, choosing to stick close to God – living out of the richness of His great love – and growing in thankfulness. Then we can freely celebrate one another for the miraculous and gifted human beings God created us to be.

May you grow in freedom from comparison, and choose to replace it with thankfulness and godliness.

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  1. Prayerfully make a list of those with whom you have compared yourself. Pray through that list, asking God to forgive you and help you move toward godliness, thankfulness and contentment.