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Melanie Stevenson

Melanie Stevenson

Embracing Life’s Seasons

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” ~ Eccleciates 3:1

Summer yawned into Fall this year, hesitant to depart and lazily lounging over the shortening sunshiney days. It warmly greeted me for coffee on the porch and lingered in the cricket-chorused evenings. Even now, as I peer out my window while writing this, I question its impending departure.

The seasons where I live in Ontario, Canada, are pronounced. I don’t mean we sound them out clearly, but they each have specific characteristics. Fall is a vibrant cacophony of color contrasted with blazing blue skies and crisp, fire-smoke-infused air. But this year, Summer has been reluctant to pass the baton to Fall.

Though on the cusp of Thanksgiving weekend in Canada, the leaves have been slow to change on our quaint street. A few early dissenters dust the sidewalk, but most appear full of chlorophyll and clinging to the branches. I imagine, in a couple more weeks, once the summer relents and the frost arrives, there will be a riot of color and the frenzy of falling leaves. Until then, I’ll take every opportunity to enjoy lunch outside with friends and collect a few bonus morning coffees on the porch, embracing every last sun-kissed day.

Not only do I prefer the warm, endless summer days, but I also prefer “summer-like” conditions in my life. Given the choice, I’d remain in the sunshine, wrapped in warmth and comfort. But those fair-weather conditions aren’t always conducive to resiliency and personal growth, are they? Sometimes, they render us complacent. Just as much as we need seasons of flourishing beauty, we also need letting-go seasons, biting-cold winters, and spring-like restarts.

Whether we like it or not, our lives are full of varying seasons. Even though we’re partial to some more than others, all must be traversed to encourage growth. The problem is, sometimes, we refuse to let go of a season. We, like this summer, overstay. We fail to see that we must move on to the next season with its distinct features. Instead, we cling to comfort and refuse to launch into the newness that awaits.

The reason, if we’re honest, is that we’re often fearful of change. We’re afraid of the unknown on the other side of this season. Sometimes, we worry that the current season will never depart or the next may be even worse. Other times, though the season changes, we’re stuck in the old one, pursuing what is perishing or wallowing in the dark chill of winter.

When I hang on to a season that has passed, it signals a lack of trust (aka. fear), thanklessness, willfulness, or bitterness. I may have failed to embrace the aspects the season was meant to offer; even more, I may have failed to embrace the One who offers His hand to traverse it.

What would it look like to embrace the season we find ourselves in and then release it when it has passed? How changed would we be if we stopped chasing after falling leaves, bemoaning what we lack, or complaining about where we find ourselves? How might we allow this present season to transform us? And what would it look like to bravely step into the next one?

As we approach Thanksgiving, can we find thankfulness for all life’s seasons? Not lagging behind, not rushing ahead, but in step with Jesus. Can we trust that God has a purpose and plan for every season and that our only aim is to remain with him throughout every one?

May God be all you need as you cling to Him during this season of your life.

Reflections:

  1. Make a list of things you can be thankful for during this season of your life.
  2. Make a list of the things you are having difficulty letting go of.
  3. Take some time to release what needs to be released, and thank God for all you have been given.

5 Things to Let Go of This Year

If you’re like me, you’ve already made your goals and chosen your word of the year. But here’s a thought. What would happen if we let go of a few things and lightened our load instead of adding to our burden? I know it sounds counter-intuitive, and how could I bring up such a thing at a time like this when we are busy breaking down how we’ll execute our plans?

But what if our best-made plans, our detailed lists of things to accomplish, were simply a way of controlling a life that wasn’t ours to control? What if we hold on so tightly to our lives or others that we miss the fullness of the journey? What if we let go of a few things instead of adding them?

Pondering this, I came up with a few thoughts regarding some things we could stand to let go of this year. Who couldn’t use to feel a little lighter, especially after all those Christmas cookies? Don’t worry; this blog isn’t about physical weight loss but about losing the things that are weighing us down, some of which we don’t even give a second thought to.

  1. Let Go of Old Patterns of Thinking

So often, we hold on tight to habitual ways of thinking, well-worn paths our mind automatically treads. Then, there are ideas, limiting beliefs, and lies we cling to about ourselves or others that are untrue and fail to align with God’s truth. There may even be some protective walls we erected to keep us comfortable and safe, which may have been necessary in the past but are no longer helpful and are hindering our growth. Perhaps we continue using the hardened bricks of hatred and bitterness to form walls when letting go means forgiveness and our freedom. Or, we may even find some fearful thoughts that are paralyzing our courage. What patterns of thinking you would be better off letting go of this year?

2. Let Go of Old Behaviors

What about the old behaviors we have established, play-it-safe postures we have adopted, where we no longer try new things, stretch ourselves, or make an effort in some area of our lives? We forget how to play and how to approach life with curiosity and wonder and instead approach it with caution. We forget that small things make a big difference and that even one small step can make a difference or elicit change. These negative behaviors paralyze our purpose and limit forward momentum. But things shift when we let go of the need to control the outcome and simply try our best. We grow in bravery and let go of the idea of failure, embracing setbacks as challenges and learning while making space for childlike wonder.

3. Let Go of Clutter

Our lives can be cluttered with so much stuff. Sometimes, that looks like a home that could use some decluttering, but often, it’s an stuffed schedule. Have we said yes too often and are drowning in overcommitment? Are there activities we should let go of to make breathing space in our week? We need to ask ourselves why we are keeping such a ragged pace, be brutally honest about the answer, and make changes from there. It’s surprising how letting go of a hectic schedule and making space often makes us feel physically lighter and happier, even when we originally thought it impossible to do so.

4. Let Go of People

Sometimes, we try to control our environment or others in an attempt to make things as we wish them to be instead of letting go and allowing them to become all they were meant to. We hold on too tight to our spouse, children, friends, or family for fear of losing them or attempting to form them into something we wish them to be instead of allowing them space to grow. We may force our preferences, timing, expectations, or worldview on them instead of loving them where they are and allowing them to grow into who God created them to be. But releasing our white-knuckled grip and letting go of control often allows ourselves and others room to flourish. Not forcing the outcome of situations but letting them unfold in time often leads to things we couldn’t have thought to ask for or imagine.

5. Let Go of People Pleasing

We would do well to let go of the weight of what others think of us. Caring too much about how others view us leads to people-pleasing. When we place undo importance on having people like us, we tend to behave inauthentically, not remaining true to who we really are, shape-shifting, or being agreeable even when we hold a differing opinion. But allowing others to have that much sway over us is futile. The antidote for this is to simply love others as we love ourselves through the love of God. In doing so, we become free of others’ opinions of us, secure in who we are in Christ and his love for us. When we let go of people’s approval and praise, we find lightness and greater peace.

Psalm 139:14 reminds us that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made”, and we are loved by God. It is his desire that we are made whole in him. Since “His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.” (2 Peter 1:3), we are well equipped through Christ and can let go of the old in anticipation of the new.

This year, may we have the wisdom to know the things we need to release to make room for the things of true importance. May we find the courage to let go of old patterns of thinking, old behaviors, people, and people-pleasing, and live uncluttered, free of unnecessary things that weigh us down.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfected of faith.” ~Hebrews 12: 1-2

Things to Ponder:

  1. What habitual thinking or behaviors am I hanging onto that no longer serve me? What can I replace them with?
  2. What things in my schedule do I need to let go of? If you are overwhelmed, don’t believe the lie that you can’t let some things go. Once you say no, you’ll be surprised by the degree of joy a freed-up schedule affords.
  3. You may need to look at how you may have fallen into people-pleasing to let go of some commitments. A good starting place is to ask yourself whether you are doing something for the praise of others or because it brings you joy and lines up with your gifts. This will take some raw honesty with yourself. Even too much of a good thing is too much, so find a way to cut things out. For more on this, see my blog post “Let Your Yes Be Yes, and Your No Be No” (link below)
Let Your Yes be Yes, and Your No Be No

Looking for some encouragement in the new year? Check out my 31-day devotional journal, Soul Focus.

Letting Go With Open Arms

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Last weekend, our first born got married to his perfect match. As if this weren’t enough emotion for this momma’s heart, on Monday of the same week we crammed the contents of our second born’s room into our van and moved him into his own apartment to continue his college education. On Tuesday, our littlest started school for the first time. I homeschooled our kids for the past eighteen years, and she is the first to go to “real” school. The same week, my third born left for New York City for a big audition. Continue reading “Letting Go With Open Arms”