Last weekend, our first born got married to his perfect match. As if this weren’t enough emotion for this momma’s heart, on Monday of the same week we crammed the contents of our second born’s room into our van and moved him into his own apartment to continue his college education. On Tuesday, our littlest started school for the first time. I homeschooled our kids for the past eighteen years, and she is the first to go to “real” school. The same week, my third born left for New York City for a big audition.
And me? Well, here it is. The day my kids step out all on their own has arrived, and in some form or another it has managed to happen to all four at once! Like a sudden whirlwind you know is coming, but catches you off-guard anyway, simultaneously scooping up the most precious contents and ushering them off into a whole new stage.
And so, in a breath, it all changes for them, and for me – the mom. I’ve always attested that parenting is a process of letting go a bit at a time. And though this is a lot of releasing all at once, I’m feeling strangely ready. Suddenly, I’m gifted with time to use my gifts. I’m pulling out the paints and brushes. I’m going through the last phases of publishing my novel. I’m even purging every room I’ve never had time to properly sort. I’m becoming acquainted with free time! It feels like I get another life – a part two, if you will. It’s an unexpected and exciting place to be.
At the same time, I realize I can release my hands, but don’t have to release my heart. While I celebrate and encourage their various pursuits and these shifts in our relationship, my momma arms will always be open wide ready to envelop my kids with a hug, support, and unconditional love whenever needed. And now I have another daughter to add to the mix!
And once again, all that I was – or failed to be – as a mom while my children were under our roof will have to suffice. After all is said and done, my children know that I love them. More than that, they know God loves them. Anything else I taught them, or that they will learn going forward, pales in comparison to that.
And so, we once again launch out in love, God ever guiding the course of our lives lived in, with, and through Him. With that I am content and can consider this one life a success. Whether immeasuable heartache or beauty beyond belief, all of it lived drenched in His love.
The Lord’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease,
For His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
~ Lamentations 3:22-23
___________________________________________________________
- What changes are you facing this fall?
- What adjustments could you make to reach a goal or change a personal habit?
Melanie Stevenson 